Growing Out
by The 483
Summary: Takes place immediately following the 5th season finale. Robin is feeling pretty down after Don left her for the job in Chicago that she had turned down. What can happen when she gets a surprise call form Barney requesting the help of a Bro?
1. Bro Meets Bro

**How I met You Mother: Growing out**

_**I Do Not own the Rights to How I Met Your Mother, and long odds on me owning 'em to anything else you may recognize.**_

**Lord, I know not what it is that I do here, but I humbly ask you forgive me for this transgression.**

**Start's after the finale of the Fifth Season, because I have seen none past that, and won't beable to until September 27****th****, so no sixth or seventh season stuff will happen as canon, but I could throw segments in later. This'll be a Robin/Original Character romance/bromance thing, so, ahead of time, "Sorry for wasting your time." Aslo, just a note here, I am using "(...)" as scene breaks because the site does not like my editing.**

**#1: Bro meets Bro**

To say that it hadn't been a pleasant couple of weeks would have been an understatement. Robin had finally thought she had had something worth holding on to, a man she could see herself looking forward to being with, and that had turned out… well… disastrous. She was still struggling not to snap under the cruel fact that she had turned down a job because of a man, just to have him leave her for the same job. Ted had left that afternoon for something with his job, some new policy seminar or something; truthfully she hadn't been paying too much attention to anything, almost like she was in shock. Lily and Marshall were… well, she didn't know what, but with Lily laid low with "Baby Fever," she knew they were out of the picture for a while. And Barney, she didn't even have to call him to know he was trying to land another common bar skank, and she wasn't up for even that much yet. But, as darkness fell on the streets of Manhattan, in the depths of her depression, she was even thinking about that.

(…)

Barney Stinson, Playboy, Suit Aficionado, and today, top astronaut in the United States first hopefully success fully manned mission to Mars had been stalking about MacLaren's Pub, trying to find a girl who would send him off with a "bang" but was not striking gold. He was failing in his pursuit because most of those present, excluding himself, knew that the American Space program was dead and being gutted, and they were not drunk enough to forget it yet. He had ambled up to the bar for a refill, when he heard the three words that found him a new Bro.

"Hey, nice suit." And that was how, and hour later, to his greatest surprise, found himself talking with a _man_ on a Saturday night, rather than in the bed of a stupid, college age girl. He actually had a lot in common with this stranger; they liked good suits, were business men of some kind, and were good at "The Game." But, the crowd was still thin.

"You'd think there would be more people out at Midnight." The newcomer said, looking at his brushed silver Rolex.

"Midnight?" Barney said in his well know belligerent correction tone. "Dude, you need a new watch, it's only 8:47." He said, after consulting his own watch.

"Oh, sorry, I guess I'm still on West Coast time, feels like I have been in conferences non-stop for the past few weeks. Well, if this scene is going to be dead for a while, want to bail and do something else till then?" Barney thought for a few seconds, then shugged.

"Sure,…" Barney liked this guy, he was Bro material, and he dressed sharp, which counted for a lot in his book. "Hey!" He thought of the perfect way to actually test this man in his ability to be a Bro. "Do you like Laser Tag?"

"Heh," He cocked his eyebrow, "I'm not that bad, but I am a little rusty."

"Oh, wait," He said, disappointment flooding across his face after finally finding someone who would actually play with him. "I got forced to quit after it became clear that I was just too skilled for the other players." He paused with the good memory "And then banned when I TP'd the bastard." Barney smiled and took a drink of the beverage in his hand, never one to let the little things get him down. "Didn't use any of the Bio-degradable crap either, my art was meant to hang."

"Nice," the newcomer said, nodding appreciatively, "where did you used to go?" Barney told him, and the stranger looked relived. "Ah, well, just so happens, I know of a newer place, adult ,no, not in the good way, just 21 and older, where you can not only get a good game o' tag, but also has a pretty good on site bar." Barney seemed exited, as his voice went up in pitch.

"Dude, you had me a tag, let's go!" They paid their tabs, hoped in a cab, and were off.

(…)

Barney and his friend sat on the bench in the break room, sweating and putting back a beer between sets.

"Damn, I can't believe how bad we lost right there." Barney said, shaking his head in the dim light.

"Don't feel to bad, the other half of our group are high, and I'm pretty sure most of the other team are Marines. Hell, what we need is some more we can trust on the field, not to just space out and giggle at the strobe light the entire time." Barney looked up, his "I just had an an awesome idea" eyebrow resting firmly in it's place.

"let me make a call, I think I might have just the Bro for this." He pulled out his phone as he stood up, the laser gun bouncing off the floor on it's cord.

"Sweet, and I will buy some cheese fries." His friend said, and moved into the lobby.

(…)

Robin jumped slightly as her phone rung on the table. The apartment was dark save for the Weather Channels dim glow. She didn't even sit up, but just reached over and picked up the device.

"Hello?" She asked, her throat slightly hoarse from disuse.

"Hey, Scherbatsky, how you doing?" He heart beat a little fast. Maybe Barney couldn't find a random bar skank and wanted to hand around! He kept talking even before she could say anything. "Great, listen Bro'mergency, I need you to suit up and get down her, me and a new bro are hitting the laser tag, and we need some back up."

"What? I thought you got banned from there for the…"

"What's past is past, blah blah blah, get over here, serious, we need some help."

"How do you know I'm not busy?" She asked defiantly sitting up while actually thinking about doing it.

"Doing what? Sitting around in your underwear crying while whatching the weather? Please." His arrogant dissmisive noise ended the sentence.

"I am not sitting around in my underwear crying." It was technically true, she had pajama bottoms on.

"Whatever, you're the only bro I can call on for this; I'll text you the address, just hurry!" She said fine, and then he hung up, leaving her to trip on the coffee table and start getting ready. She didn't like to admit, especially to herself, but she was actually really happy to be getting out away from herself. It was probably just the hurt talking, but she just really did not want to be alone.

(…)

"It's about time, Scherbatsky." Barney greeted her impatiently as she walked into the lobby. As was not to be the last time of the night, what she saw was no where within throwing distance of what she had expected. Instead of the black lights and luminescent paint, the entry had more of a survivalist bunker look to it, all exposed supports, plywood, and dull olive paint. Even the florescent lights hung within wire cages.

"Blow it out your ass, Barney, you're lucky I came at all. She walked over to him, arms crossed over her chest. She had decided to come sans purse, opting to pocked some cash and her phone instead.

"Whatever, c'mon." He waved her over, and she followed him down a dim hall and through a large pair of metal doors into a mock ready room, vests and guns racked in neat rows along the walls. The whole mock military theme a refreshing display from the kids place Barney used to attend. There was only one other man in the room, sitting with his back to them, engaged on a phone. He looked back when he heard the door clatter, and swiftly ended the call, stood, and approached the twosome.

Again, she was surprised. The man was a little shy of six feet, brunette and had a smile that was both charming, and disarming. He was in most of a modestly expensive, obviously tailor made suit, with his own gear strapped on over the shirt and tie. His feature had a slightly rugged look though, which made her think of him as having an outdoor job rather than one in business. Barney made a unsatisfactory introduction in what seemed like more agitation that was usual, which she would find out was due to the round having already started, and he had lost the previous one, fairly hard.

Scherbatsky, Stone. Stone, Scherbatsky." She accepted the handshake the other man offered, a firm grip, and a good, friendly shake.

"Nice to meet you, Scherbatsky," he projected in a friendly, but also neutral voice.

"The Barnacle says that your game is pretty good, and we're going to need it. Our opposites are at least Army, possible Marine Corps, and our other half are well, pretty well gone.

"Alright, I'm going in, find me when you get in." Barney said, already walking in along the yellow stenciled arrows painted.

"Sure thing," the man named Stone said at the retreating man's back, before turning back to Robin. "Sorry, but I usually like to introduce myself, Richard Stone." He held out his hand, and again they shook.

"Robin," she said, feeling slightly awkward in the situation that she found herself in, as it seemed that her Ex was trying to set her up with a friend so soon after not only their own relationship, but also the first she had ever let come between her and her career goals.

He smiled widely again.

"Now, he swears by your game, but this might be a little different than you're used to, so I can go over the basics, if you would like." She gave him a smile that was simultaneously polite, but said "I'm not an Idiot."

"Maybe you better, it's been… a while, and I might be a little rusty." She continued to think while he went over the basics, and strapped on her own gear, although she allowed him to cinch up a few of the harder to reach straps on the back and sides. She realized in that act, it was the way he was behaving toward her that she was getting a weird feeling about. After he finished up he asked her a few questions, and that's when she understood what was weird about the treatment. It was completely impartial. The questions weren't probing, just seeking specific information that would be useful to know in the event. Just friendly indifference. What was weird was that this was allowing her to relax and not worry about being judged. They neared the door, and she was actually looking forward to letting off a little steam.

(…)

It was Just past 11:00 when Barney, Richard and Robin returned to Maclaren's for drinks. Scotch was served, and scotch was consumed at a pace that made for easy conversation.

"To be frank, when I first showed up, I thought you two were kind of stupid for taking it that seriously, but, damn, that was something else entirely." Robin said, setting her drink down on the table. They did not occupy the booth they habitually did when all of the group were together, but rather one of the floor tables.

"Hey, you know I always take my Laser tag seriously." Barney said, his eyes scanning the room, over the brim of his glass.

"I know," she countered, giving him the look that clearly (to anyone else) said "you're a dumbass." "That's why I expected packs of waist high children…" she didn't get to finish as Barney interrupted.

"Well, Gentlemen, I am sorry, but I believe I have just found my ride home for the evening. Blonde, corner table, mostly empty martini." Robin looked over the girl with a practiced eye.

"Not a chance, she'll see through whatever you trough at her."

"have a little faith, Scherbatsky, daddy's getting at least one win for the team tonight." It had turned out that not only had all six of their opponents been Marines, but 4 of them served in the same unit, and were very, very efficient team players. Needless to say, Barny, Robin and Richard had lost pretty badly, and Barney was not one to accept failure that did not serve his interests in some convoluted fashion.

"What are you going to play?" Steve asked, leaning on the table his back to the girl. Barney thought about if for a few seconds.

"I think I'll go with the "I'm new in town and looking for a guide to show me the The City that never sleeps." He said with a smug look. Richard looked over his shoulders at the girl for a full 8 or 9 seconds before turning back, shaking his head.

"Nope, won't work."

"What are you talking about? If it weren't for some wingman issues, it would have worked before."

"Nope, I'll tell you what _will_ work, though." He took the silence as permission to continue.

"You head outside for a minute or two, the come in, putting away your phone like you just left a voice message. Grab a seat at the bar and order one of whatever you want, and one of whatever it looks like blondie back there is drinking. When she heads up to refill her own, I call you, I blew you off and I am just now, 2 hours later letting you know I couldn't make it. You're disappointed, but not surprised, this has happened quite a few times, but you always seem to find some reason to forgive me. You offer her the whatever it is you had anticipating ordered for me, and then you handle the rest."

"Pfft, that won't work." Barney said, taking a condescending sip of his scotch.

"50 bucks says it will." Barney's eyebrow shot up so fast the movement blurred slightly.

"You. Are. On." He said, and emphatically shook on the deal.

"Good, give the cash to Scherbatsky, as a neutral party, so you don't have to come back here and pay me." Barney did so, said his goodbyes and walked out the door into the street. Robin had remained quiet after her first comment, and now was feeling a bit sad. Not due to Barney's next attempt to land a floozy, but because it had snapped her out of the good time she was having with the realization that soon to her new friend would be leaving soon as well. All she knew was that she didn't want to be alone yet, and was wondering how to prolong the night.

"'s wrong?" Richard asked, shaking Robin out of her mild funk with a start.

"What? Oh, nothing, just thinking is all." She shook her head and took a drink.

"Please, I've had that look enough to know something is up. What's up?"

"Do you often go out and pick up girls at bars like this?"

"Depends." He said, and Barney returned into the bar, putting away his phone and looking upset, before sitting at the bar and ordering drinks. "Some nights, yeah, but others, I just come out because… hell, I just don't feel like being alone." That is when Robin, for reasons unknown to herself blurted out something to potentially ruin the night.

"you do know that Barney and I dated for quite a while, right?"

(…)

**And, I am going to end that right here for now. Sorry if this is bad, this is the first thing I have done for a show with real people actors, and not animated, so it's a little weird for me. Anyway, I have some timing planned out, and for the flow I am going for, I have to end it here.**


	2. No Regrets, Ever

**How I met Your Mother: Growing Out**

_**I do not own the Rights to How I Met Your Mother, and long odds on me owning 'em to anything else you may recognize.**_

**Lord, I know not what it is that I do here, but I humbly ask you forgive me for this transgression.**

**If I eventually come up with a decent title, I will change it if possible. Sorry.**

**#2: No regrets, ever.**

Barney had quite a nice night, he had to admit, and it was one of the least complicated flings he had had in quite a while. The girl had come to his apartment the previous night, and for a nice change of pace, she had already cleared off before he had woken up, two hours prior. It was during that time that he had, at a point where he was not in possession of his phone, received a call for Robin, but no voice mail. But, rather than call back, he decided to drop in on her, because all appearances, his time spent with her when they were dating had shown him that it was technically possible for him to care about a girl outside of his feelings for sexing her. He didn't give in to those feelings often, as he did not want to encourage them to grow, but he figured he could get away with it this once. A scant year ago, his only thought would have been the she had proven easy when she was feeling vulnerable, especially after she got dumped. He didn't knock on the door, but rather just opened it, feeling no need act like a guest, because Ted's apartment was his second home.

"Hey, Robin, I'm here." He called out, finding the living space slash kitchen empty, and both bedroom doors open. Her slightly muffled voice called back from across the room.

"Ok, I'm just in the toilet, be out in a minute." Barney didn't respond, walked over to the fridge, pulled out two beers, and took a seat in single chair with its back to the door. He popped the cap of one, and started it, waiting for Robin to emerge. He didn't have to wait long, as about two minutes later he heard the toilet flush, and she emerged, dressed in a long T-shirt and pajama pants. She greeted him with a happy smile.

"Morning, Barney." She said, catching the beer he tossed her and opening it as she sat down on the couch end furthest from him. "You know you could have just called." She said after she took a swig of the brew.

"Meh, I know you've been pretty down lately, so I thought I might drop by and see how you were doing. So what did you need?" She nodded, and smiled again.

"Oh, I just wanted to thank you, that date last night was just what I needed." His eyebrow shot up to its questioning place.

"What date?" Now it was Robin's eyebrows turn to climb.

"The one you set me up on with your friend."

"What are you talking about, Scherbatsky?" Robin was now slightly confused and irritated, think Barney was playing stupid.

"You set me up on a date with your friend Richard last night, remember?" Barney loosed a puff of air in a patronizing chuckle.

"Robin, that wasn't a date, that was just hanging out with a Bro."

"You're crazy, that was a total date."

"Then you must have the meaning of the word." Robin opened her mouth with another rebuttal but Barney stopped her with a raised hand, palm out. "I'll tell you what, go over what happened last night, and I'll show you it wasn't a date."

"Fine." She crossed on arm over her chest and took another draw on the bottle. "You went outside after handing me the 50; I asked him if he was like you, cruising the bars to pick up girls. Then I asked him if he knew we dated…" Barney cut her of there with a loud expletive.

"Oh, god, Scherbatsky, you told him that you and I dated?" She nodded, no comprehension on her face.

"You just proved it wasn't a date right there." Her look became quizzical.

"What do you mean, Barney?" She didn't say anything, but she was now beginning to doubt herself.

"It's in the Bro Code, Article 150: A Bro never dates a bro's Ex and no Sex with a Bro's Ex. Richard is my Bro, so by your own admission, you just flagged yourself as off limits." Robin looked pissed, and sounded it too.

"What the hell are you talking about, Barney? You slept with me after Ted and I broke up." Barney nodded gravely, a look of utter seriousness on his face.

"True, and the backlash of that caused a temporary death of Bro Hood and the loss of Ted as a friend. It's one of the most sacred tenets of the Code, as it almost always results in the death of Bro Hood." Robin admitted to herself that this did make sense, but was determined to win this argument, though she wasn't sure why.

"Whatever, let me tell you what else happened.

(…)

Richard choked on his drink when Robin asked him if he was aware of her past with Barney.

"Oh, hell, I'm sorry. I can still stop his pick up from succeeding if it make you upset."

"What? No, it was a while ago and I think we're actually better friends now then we were before." She saw the girl at the rear table get up out of the corner of her eye. "Hey, can I make the call; I always have fun with these."

"Sure, here." He pulled out his phone and passed it to her, pressing the dial key. She placed it to her ear and though about what she felt what she would say.

"Ah, yes, hello. Mr. Stinson? Yes, this is your Physician. Well, the test results came back from the lab, and I am afraid it's worse than we initially guessed. Medication isn't going to get the job done this time. That's right, were going to have to remove it. Yes, it is sad, but it needs to be done. Alright, have a good night." She ended the call and handed the phone back to Richard, who was nodding, a light smile on his own tired face.

"Not bad, just improvising?"

"A little." She admitted. They sat and watched as Barney gave the girl the spare drink, and leave with her a few minutes later. "Damn, you sure called that one.

"What can I say, it's just business, and I am fairly good at this business."

"What do you mean?" Robin asked with another sip from her own drink.

"Well, to be good at moving any product, as Mark Twain wrote, "You have to know what makes the frog jump." This just means that you have to be able to read the motivations behind the habits of the person you're trying to sell whatever you have, whether it's yourself, a car, or anything. The principle carries over." He finished, and Robin, not knowing what she could add, ended up letting an awkward silence hang between them in Barneys absence. While she was thinking furiously on how to break it without awkwardness, Richard thankfully seized the opportunity.

"Hey, feel like getting something to eat?" He asked, so nonchalantly that she almost missed the opportunity to prolong her company. Apparently, she took too long to grasp it, that he spoke again. He looked at her with an odd look on his face. "Listen, I can still probably mess up the hook up for him if it bothers you this bad." She looked at him with surprise when she realized he was talking about Barney.

"No, that's fine, really, it doesn't bother me at all, I… it's just…" There was something about the concerned look he was giving her that made her decide to gamble on honesty. "I just got dumped pretty hard, about a week ago, and I haven't really even thought about getting back out here. But I hadn't until tonight, realized how hard I was taking it. I guess I am just trying to say, that I… I am really enjoy this, and don't want to chase you off, because," she swallowed hard, and felt the burning as tears started to well up in the corners of her eyes, but her inertia of the emotion behind her words kept them coming as her voice wavered slightly, "You're really the only one I've had to talk too, everyone else has been busy or Barney and I …"

"Whoa whoa whoa, Calm down there," Richard reached across the table and placed a hand on her shoulder, cutting her off. She looked up, a few tears flowing down her face, but the full storm on hiatus. "If what your saying is that you need someone to talk to, don't worry about it, you're a Bro, and I like nothing better to get to know you better tonight." He flashed her a smile containing enough warmth that she almost chuckled at her own stupidity in breaking down like that. The noise came out as a cough and smile, as she sniffled and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Heh, sorry, I forgot how strong this stuff can be when it just tries to get out all at once like that." She took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh.

"Pfft, I'm no stranger to that myself. I mean, I could tell you some stories, and a few of them start just like this. You have the fortune, good or bad, to be in the company of one who has no defense against the genuine tears of a lady. Tell you what, you go get yourself straight in the bathroom, and I'll grab us a bit to eat from the bar, and then spend the nest hour seeing how long I can keep a smile on your face? Sound like a plan?" She nodded happily, and chuckled again, dabbing the last of the moisture away from her eyes with a napkin before standing up. She started to walk toward the restroom, when a though hit her and she swiveled around again.

"Wait, you'll rally still be here when I get back, right, you're not going to run off?" He smiled knowingly.

"No, Ma'am, I give you my solemn word as a gentle man." She got the impression that he bowed, but he did not move.

"And how do I know if that is any good?" She could imagine what she looked like, and doubted she herself would have stuck around if something like this happened to a person she had just met. Richard's smile grew broader.

"I guess you'll just have to find out." He turned and walked to the bar, ending the conversation, and leave Robin to tend to herself in the restroom.

(…)

"You really broke down, right in the middle of the bar? Damn, wish I could have seen that. Anyway, it still wasn't a date, and there has been no evidence to suggest otherwise in your little story.

"Ok, I will admit it sounds a little less like a date when I say it out loud, but you weren't there."

"I didn't need to be. But continue, you came out of the bathroom and he was, to your surprise, still there."

"What do you mean, "to my surprise?"" Robin said, her eyebrow rising with suspicion. Barney chuckled and then took a drink of his beer.

"Puh-leese, Robin, after that performance, I _know_ you hoped he'd still be there, but you did not really believe it. Lord knows I would have been gone before the bathroom door finished shutting." Robin just gave him a look that told him he disgusted her, and that he was correct.

"Well, anyway, I came out of the restroom, and he not only was waiting, but he had some food. And, true to his word, he spent the next hour making me smile and laugh. I felt really good for the first time since Don told me he took the job that I turned to for him. So then we were just finishing the after dinner drink, when he hinted we should leave…"

(…)

Robin wasn't just laughing, she was giggling, and it wasn't an effect of the alcohol, as she had been watching, and she had consumed less that she had in a long, long time. It was about midnight, and the bar was full up with people. Richard finished his own glass of liquor while waiting for Robin's giggles to subside before he tried to cut through the noise.

"Hey, it's uh, getting crowded I here, should we, bail?" The look on Robins face changed so fast it was startling.

"What, but you said we could talk about my breakup... oop!" Now it was Richard's turn to giggle.

"Heh, don't worry about it, I said we could talk about it, and we can. Meet me out front, I'll pay the tab and then take you home." He got up and walked to the bar before she could say anything, but she would not have been able anyway, after the slip up she had just made. She got up and the table was taken almost before her butt left the chair. She walked out front and waited, worrying about what she would say when Richard came out. The thought that he might bail had thankfully not come up after the first time. She was shaken from her thoughts by a tap on the shoulder. She spun around.

"C'mon, I'll take you home… what's wrong?" He could not place the look she had now, other than a vague wrongness about it.

"I… I uh, live here, right upstairs." Richard put astonishment on his face, looked up at the building, and then back down at the… he blinked, really astonished now, the woman looked so meek that it actually hurt his heart a little.

"This wasn't your first bad relationship, was it?" He asked, all pretense of joking leaving him like air after getting punched in the stomach. She shook her head slightly, looking at the ground, inwardly praying that she wouldn't start crying again. "How about this, we'll walk around the block, and then I'll take you home?" He suggested, and without waiting for her to answer, he placed his hand on her shoulder, spun her, and wrapped her in a one arm hug as he started walking. "Luckily for you, if there is one thing I know better than almost anything else, it is how to outdo almost any bad relationship with one of my own. But first, let me quiz you a bit, find a base line if you will. You really didn't expect me to still be here when you came out of the bathroom, did you?

"Not really." She admitted, while thinking to herself that she actually was enjoy the fact that his arm was still loosely around her shoulder, and that he had not tried to cop a fell under the guise of an accidental shift.

"Damn." He shook his head, "you mean that you really though I would just take off, without having the decency to say something?" She nodded again, and he was shocked at the complete lack outrage in her eyes. "This happens a lot around here?" She nodded, and he shook his head again, his hand clenching slightly on her shoulder. "Damn, if I ever find the son of a bitch that made you feel that that is a standard, I'mma beat the hell out of them so hard that they aren't even going to be able to eat liquid food, they going to have to get it intravenously." He sighed. "I am going to be honest with you for a minute here, alright? Ok, I have a secret…"

"Oh God, you're gay?" Robin interrupted, knowing this was too good to be true.

"What? No, why does everyone always assume that?"

"You used to be a chick?"

"No." He gave her a raised eyebrow, as if to say, why would your mind go there next? "In truth, I am not from New York. I actually come from California." He said the last, not with shame, but with a tone that said he was waiting for harsh judgment.

"…so…your gay?"

"I already said no to that one. It doesn't bother you that I from California?" She snorted at this with a cute smile.

"Dude, I'm not from New York either, I'm from Canada."

"So…_you're_ gay?"

"No, Jesus, what is it about playing hockey that makes everyone think you're a lesbian?" She threw her arms up in exasperation and her voice rose an octave in pitch.

"Wait, you're a lesbian?" He said, with interest. She slugged him in the shoulder after shaking off his arm, but he put it right back up.

"No, but with the luck I've been having lately, it's starting to look like a good idea."

"Yeah it is. Hmmm, if you decide that you want to try it, let me know, I know a girl who would look great on you…oof!" He coughed as she elbowed him in the gut. "Ok, so, now that that is out of the way, more honesty. Why is your self esteem so low? I mean really, you are gorgeous, like stunning. Serious, when we were in the bar back there, there was practically a line behind me, waiting for you to get bored with me and call out "next" so that they could get a shot." She turned her head, and looked at him.

"You better be careful," she said in a low tone with a short smile, "I think I am starting to be able to tell when you are lying."

"Please, woman, I do not lie to friends. I merely talk straight out of my ass at time. Every word of that was the Gods honest truth, as I saw it, because unlike the courts, I can make a case on circumstantial evidence alone." He smiled back at her, and she continued staring at him. "…What?" He finally asked, squirming under the gaze.

"Are you _sure_ you're not gay?" She shot him a causational look, and he didn't seem embarrassed in the least.

"Tried it once, did do much for me." He shrugged causally, and went on, not elaborating.

"Whoa, wait a minute, you can't just drop a line like that and leave me hanging, you have to tell me that story." He sighed again, took a quick look around, as if to check and see if anyone was watching.

"Well, I… Oh, would you look at that, back at your apartment already, no time for embarrassingly personal stories of yesteryear, drat." He snapped his fingers to embellish his sarcastic disappointment.

"Oh, really, that is a shame. Come on up, and we can talk about it in there, over a bottle of wine?" She put on her slyest smile, catching on to the implied hint she imagined she heard. In reality, it was just a facet of his personality; he was not attempting to get invited into her apartment. But that facet was strong one, almost as much as the fact he had made a promise he had yet to fulfill.

"Hmm, well, you do make a convincing argument… sure, I have nowhere to be tonight, lead the way."

(…)

"For the love of, God, Robin… just… damn." Barney had his head in his hands, and was shaking it. Robin opened her mouth to speak, but he held up a finger to stop her while he gathered his thoughts. He looked up and gave her a look of utter disappointment. I thought you were better than that!" He got up, walked to the fridge, grabbed another bottle of beer, and returned to his seat heavily. "This is why men and women can't be friends. You just can't tell the difference between friendliness and desire to have sex!"

"What?" Robin spouted, her voice getting slightly deeper in hurt, as she took his words as an accusation.

"Just in your retelling, I can see how hard you were throwing yourself at him. I Mean, you did everything short of take your pants of and gesture to show what you wanted." Robin didn't say anything, but looked away from him, her arms crossed over her chest. It took Barney 3.4 seconds to interpret the silence. He took his head in his hands again.

"Oh, please tell me you didn't…" She cleared her throat, slightly in the space he left open.

"No, I did not, not exactly. I had had a few beers at the bar with dinner, along with the pre dinner Scotch, and then a glass of wine when I got in to help relax me a little. I guess… I kind o forgot this was some guy I just met. He made me feel so at ease I changed for bed so that I would have to later without thinking about it." Barney looked up expectantly, because the tone in her voice told him almost as much as her red cheeks did.

"And…" He prompted when she continued staring at the floor.

"While Ted had been gone, I've just been wearing a big T-shirt to bed." She finished quietly. Barney pushed himself up and back, crossing his left leg over the right and steepleing his fingers in front of him, and gesturing with an eyebrow for her to continue.

(…)

The apartment was dark save for the glow of the television, the volume reduced to almost zero to not compete with the conversation, but still serve as a distraction at pauses. Robin had changed for bed, wearing a simple large white t-shirt over her underwear, and had already seated herself on the couch next to Richard and put her heels on the coffee table before she realized that she had just met the man sitting next to her less than 4 hours earlier. He looked her over casually, then leaned forward, removed his own suit jacket, threw it at a chair, loosened his tie, then fell back with a contented sigh, thumping his own shoed feet on the coffee table as well and throwing his left arm along the back of the couch.

"So, what's first, the story of my little attempt at seeing if men had the answers that I couldn't find with the gals, or should we tackle your guy first?" Robin did not trust her voice, so she merely motioned for him to go first while she pounded down her first glass of wine and reached for a refill.

"Okay, so this was about 4, 5 years back. I was… what, about 31? Yeah, so 4 years ago. I got dumped, hard. I mean, the kind that hits you so hard you can't even pick yourself up after getting hit, a clean knockout. So, I decided, as this was not the first this had happened, to see if a guy could offer up what I couldn't find from a woman. So, I started going to gay bars, well, seeing as I living in L.A. at the time, just bars, and I started looking into the gay crowd. Made some friends, talked some shop, but eventually I met another girl, and that was that." Robin stopped in her consumption of the wine.

"Wait, that's it?" She spoke with incredulity.

"Yeah, I never said it was a big story, just that I tried it, and it was not for me. What about you, you ever done something like that?"

"Actually, I did almost try out a gay guy once." Now Richard's eyebrow rose. "Ok, this is back from when I was still in Canada. I was maybe 17. So I am with my boyfriend, and we're in his bed and we were both virgins. He gets on top of me, is just about to enter, when he rolls back off and simply says, "Yeah, I'm gay."" Richard snorted his drink, and came up coughing. He was still laughing when he managed to catch his breath.

"Oh, *cough* my, I'm sorry. *cough* I bet that was frustrating as al*cough* as all hell. But I can give you one better. I just remembered, I did actually date a guy, for about a month. Nice little gay guy, we still talk every now and then. It was way back when I was in middle school, and what happened was that I honestly though he was a chick. No, serious, he was a pretty chick, and it was at the age were there were no real outward signs that he wasn't. I really liked him, because he was the coolest girl who I had ever met, we had a lot in common, and he, being gay, though I knew he was a he and that I was into him as a him as a him."

"Name didn't tip you off?

"Nope, his name is Andy, a good ambiguous name. God, it was bad. It was one of those things that you just could not catch on to until somebody told you. One day I brought him home, and we were doing something, and my parents always addressed him with the pronoun "he," so I asked them what the hell they were talking about. The next day I talked to him about it. God, to this day, it is still the most awkward conversation I have ever had. He wasn't' offended that I thought he was a girl, but he was hurt that I was no longer attracted to him. Somehow, we managed to put it behind us." He sighed deeply, loosing himself in painful reminiscence. The clink of Robin's glass as she set it on the table brought him back to reality. "Alright, your turn, what's the most awkward date you have ever had?"

"I had a guy tell me he loved me the night of the first date." She said, grim satisfaction on her face. She then proceeded to tell him about her whirlwind, jumbled ass relationship with Ted. By the time that was done, the bottle of wine was empty, and both had a mildly strong buzz going on. They continued rehashing old, failed relationships, giggling and sharing in the warm glow of inhibition that the alcohol produced, until an hour later, Robin was going over her last relationship that landed her living back with Ted, broken hearted. She could not have told how she ended up where she was, Richards arm around her casually, her head pillowed on his shoulder, but by that time, she had no doubts or insecurities left to worry her. She just felt warm and comfortable and happy, her chest greatly lightened as she finished.

Had she been sober, she would have wondered why she had no more tears for the subject, but it did not bother her then.

"… I don't know if it was that I was finally ready to invest myself in someone, or that he took the job that I was offered, or what it was."

"Alright, yeah, that does suck, but, I have seen your show, because I've been having some insomnia problems myself since moving here. Can I tell you how I see it?" She nodded against him and closed her eyes feeling the pull of sleep tug at her awareness. "Ok, you're a young, spirited, beautiful person, who I on air, every day, giving a crap about what you are doing, despite the stupid bull you have to. He was an older man, who you said already got passed around though like, 28 different programs. This is probably the best he will ever be able to do, and you pushed him to the point where he turned himself around. That's not something to feel bad about, you should be damned proud of yourself."

"I know, but I just thought I was starting to see a future with this guy. I mean, how do you know when you're in love and it will work?" Richard cleared his throat in a way that made it clear he was uncomfortable and was asking her to pause.

"Sorry, it's not you at all, but _THAT_ is a conversation I do not have. It is the one thing that has, except in one special case, VERY special case, always, without fail, come back to bite me in the ass. But look, in my opinion, I think you did the right thing for you, and he did the right thing for him, and you will both be better off in the long run. I mean, yeah, it hurts now…" Robin realized she had fallen partly asleep, and came back slightly awake, fighting it. Richard was still talking, but she didn't know what about. "… Like Lazarus long said, "No regrets, ever." All of these trials make us stronger, and help us define who we are as…" That was the last she heard, for she fell asleep in a happy glow of liquor and good for the soul company.

(…)

"So he bored you to sleep." Barney did not ask, but said.

"No!" She replied, shriller that she intended, and then checked herself. "It was just a combination of the booze and the discharge of emotional tension."

"Oh, like when I have sex." Barney asked, a self satisfied smirk on his face as he drained the last of his beer.

"Kind of, I guess." She looked slightly confused, but the analogy worked.

"Ok, but it still wasn't a date. Look, let's lay it out. You played some Laser Tag, had dinner, and then shared "girl" talk until you fell asleep." He made the air quotes with his fingers. "Ok, here are the facts. 1) He didn't kiss you, even once. 2) He did not address you by any other name than "Scherbatsky," when he used a name. And 3) He was still there when you woke up." Barney counted the points on his fingers in the most condescending manner possible. Robin perked up on the last one.

'Ha, he was not there when I woke up! I was alone on the couch.

"And…" Barney prompted her, twirling his hands to get her to continue with the relevant part he knew was there.

"What? I was covered with a blanket.

"And…"

"There was a plate of breakfast, two replacement bottles of wine, and a note." She said it in a way that implied that Barney was stupid, but he didn't hear it and kept his tone the same.

"And the note said…"

"The note said, "Thanks for a fun night, call me if you want to hang out again, R. Stone." At the bottom was a phone number.

"Case closed."

"What do you mean, cased closed, it was totally a date!" She was slipping in her own belief now, as the conviction Barney had was intimidating.

"No, it wasn't. A date does not make you breakfast, tuck you in, or replace your hooch. A Bro does, if it is his desire to do so. Either that, or it's what a father does for a kid who's had a rough time." Barney's eyes lit up with that thought. "Oh, he's your dad, isn't he?

"What, no, dumbass, I am Robin Scherbatsky Jr. Besides, he's only 35 or 36, not old enough. That doesn't prove it wasn't a date.

"Why don't I just call and ask him then, get him to confirm my story."

"Fine, let's…" She couldn't think of a witty comeback, show she just sat back as Barney triggered the number in his phone, set it to speaker, and placed it the table. It rang twice before a voice picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Richard, Barney Stinson."

"Hey, good to hear from you man. Once sec," The voice became muffled, "Hey, Casey, bugger off, this is that call I have been waiting for." There was a short pause, and then the sound of a heavy door closing before his voice came back full. "What's going on?"

"Not too much. What was that all about?"

"Oh, nothing, I'm just at work, and they are trying to get me to actually do some work."

"Ah, been there, done that. Anyway, I heard you had a pretty good date with Robin last night.

"Huh? Who." Robin tried to control it, but she felt her face fall at the look of satisfaction on Barney's smug face. For that second, she hated him.

"Scherbatsky." He clarified.

"Oh!" Richard said as comprehension dawned. He then sounded serious. "Dude, I don't know what you heard, but it was no date. Article 150. I've lost a few Bro's to that one before, and I don't mess with it. We just got some dinner, got drunk, hashed over some past mistakes, tossed stuff of an overpass into traffic, bro stuff." Robin had heard enough, so she got up and decided to empty her bladder before receiving Barney's victory speech. Richard kept talking as Barney's eyes followed her all the way into the bathroom, and he switched the phone back off speaker. "..Treated her just like any other bro…"

"Its cool dude, she's gone now. Ok, calling for Bro honesty, what did you think of her?" Richard did not necessarily know that Robin had been listening t the conversation, but he continued as if he had.

"I think she's pretty awesome, and makes a good Bro."

"You didn't think her behavior was weird?"

"How much did she tell you about last night?"

"All of it."

"Hell, then you know I'm from California, and everyone knows we're crazy. Nope, not at all, I actually enjoyed myself more than I have in a _long_ time."

"Want to date her?"

"Honestly?" He took the silence as affirmation. "Yes, I wouldn't mind, but only if you were 100% behind it, man. Like I said, I've lost quite a few Bro's that way."

"Yeah, I know what you mean, but, that's why it's in the code, so we have fair warning. Three conditions, though. First, I am still your best Bro, regardless of things end up. Second, if you two do end up hitting it off, spare me the details as much as possible. And third, you tell me how you picked the perfect chick to send me home with last night. It was awesome."

"I can live with that. But you honestly think she would want to go out with me?"

"Yeah, man, up until the beginning of this call, she thought last night was a date."

"And you're sure your cool with this?"

"Of course. Despite whatever happened between her and me, she deserves to be happy, and if I can help her with that, it makes me happy."

"You love her." It was a flat, toneless statement.

"I don't know, I just know I don't like seeing her sad. Just… don't hurt her any worse.

"Hey, haven't you heard, I'm always the one who gets hurt. I'll call her later. You free tonight?"

"Yeah, I was just going to hand out at the pub until I scored."

"Cool, hit me up and I'll see if I can show you what I did. Thanks, Bro."

"No problem, I'll call you before I leave. Later." He hung up and a few seconds later robin walked out of the bathroom, ready to have it rubbed in her face.

"Hey, I have to take off. Don't feel too bad, because after you left, Stone said that he did have a great time, and that he would probably call sometime in the next couple days to see if you wanted to hang out again."

"Barney, you don't have to lie to me." She looked dejected.

"It's the truth, he said, and I quote, "she is awesome, not as awesome as you, Barney, but then again, no one else is that awesome." She still did not look convinced. "Come on, I bet you five dollars, that he has called to see if you want to do something by 6:00 tomorrow night."

"Fine, whatever. She said, and slumped to the couch, wondering why he wasn't gloating, but not going to push it. And at that he turned and left, smiling at himself for his efforts.

**End chapter two, tell me if it make sense to you guys, cause this is still weird to me.**


	3. Regression

**How I met Your Mother: Growing Out**

_**I do not own the Rights to How I Met Your Mother, and long odds on me owning 'em to anything else you may recognize.**_

**Lord, I know not what it is that I do here, but I humbly ask you forgive me for this transgression.**

**If I eventually come up with a decent title, I will change it if possible. Sorry.**

**#3: Regression.**

Robin had been sitting on the couch watching the television must because she felt like being lazy. She was no longer depressed, she just… didn't feel like doing anything. She had apparently drifted off into another nap, because when the phone rang, it startled her awake. She rubbed her eyes and looked at the clock, surprised to see it was now 4:30. She answered, and a male voice responded.

'"Um, Hello, er… Robin?"

"Yeah?" She said, a yawn starting in the middle of the word.

"Hey… it's Richard… Richard Stone… form last night."

"Yeah, I remember, what do you need?" He sounded uneasy, but Robin's brain was still too fogged with sleep, so in short, she didn't really care.

"Um…oh…sorry… I was just wondering if..you had some time to talk." She yawned again.

"Sure, c'mon over."

"Really? Okay. See you in a little while, bye." He hung up, and after a minute of sleepy sitting, Robin got up and started to get ready to receive company. She got on pants, changed her shirt to one that gave just a hint of cleavage, brushed the knots out of her hair, and put on just enough makeup so that she felt pretty. She had just finished the touch up when she heard a knock at the door. She walked out of the bathroom and to the door, opening it to find Richard, looking tired and nervous. She gave him a warm, guarded smile.

"Hello, Richard, hard day? Come on in." She moved aside and he hesitantly entered. He was still standing, arms folded behind his back, and he looked even more uncomfortable. Robin smiled to herself and thought: _good, maybe this is as awkward for him as it is for me._ She decided to start to start the coveration.

"Listen, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry that I was so weird last night. I shouldn't have laid all of that on you, and kept you up all night when you had to work."

"What? Oh, no, I had a great time, really, and actually got more sleep than I have in a night since I moved out here. If anything, I should be thanking you for …um… helping kill several hours I would have been miserable during, if you hadn't,… um… allowed me to join you. In the apartment. Your apartment. Talking about things. Old relationships." Each partial sentence was punctuated with a look of fear and near stutter. Robin raised an eyebrow, wondering why he seemed to be having so much trouble articulating.

"Are you okay?" She asked, and he seemed to get even more flustered.

"I …er yea….No, aperently not. Okay," he took a deep breath and tried to calm himself, "this is probably a stupid question, but, would you like to go out with me?" She blinked as she processed what he had just said.

"Seriously?" He bleached in a instant, and the look on his face told her that her tone was not the questioning she was going for, for the kind used when a driver cuts you off because he's driving with his head up his ass. She back pedaled. "No, wait, I…" she realized this was worse. And tried harder, putting up her hand to pause him, because he looked ready to flee. She spaced her words carefully. "what I mean is, is this a serious offer, or are you screwing with me?" She gave him a look that was intent, which he mistook for offended.

"I mean no offense, but yes, it is a serious offer." He swallowed hard, quickly meeting her eyes then looking away again.

"Sure." She said quickly. She had thought briefly about drawing it out like she was thinking it over, but she had thought a lot about asking him out herself, and figured that she had been more emotionally intimate with him on the night she met him then most guys she dated during their entire relationship, and said to hell with appearances of that nature. She was willing to try something new. He smiled, and looked a slight bit more relived, but still… unceartian.

"Cool, thanks." He shifted nervously, and after halting once, reached out his hand as if to shake. Robin reached her own out, pushed it away, drew close, and gave him a hug, which he returned heartily. It felt like a good way to kick it. She drew back until they faced each other across a comfortable distance, arms still laced around the back of his neck, his around her waist. He seemed almost relaxed now, and even more worn out.

"What was up with that whole "nervous guy" you had going on there, is that what you're like when you're not out trolling the bars?" He smiled, and actually blushed a little bit.

"*ahem*, no, actually, that is usually what I am like… this is… not common. I guess deep down, I'm still the little boy who's intimidated by pretty girls he has a crush on."

"You did alright last night." She pointed out, taking the compliment for what it was.

"Last night you were just a friend…" He left it hanging, not to stretch the moment, but because he didn't know how to continue. The problem was, Robin wasn't sure either, although the hormones in both their bodied were throwing suggestions to them.

"So… what now?" Robin asked aloud as she thought it.

"I don't really know. Do you want to get dinner?"

"I would like to, but I have to get up for work before two, and because I took a nap before you got here, I have to take a sleeping pill for eight hours. Plus, you look pretty run down yourself."

"So let me pick something up and bring it back for you." She grinned and chuckled lightly.

"I was just going to grab something simple at out of the fridge."

"So let me cook you up something easy." She smiled more broadly

"You really don't want to leave, do you?"

"Not really, no. I'd like to stick around for as long as you'll let me." He returned her smile.

"Where do you live?" She asked, casually, and he took the hint, his confidence returned now that the hard part was over.

"On the other side of the Park."

"Oh my, that is quite a commute." She shook her head. "I will tell you what, since my roommate is still out of town, if you make me dinner, I'll let you crash hear tonight."  
>"Hmmm, alright, that sounds like a plan. Let me just make a quick call, and you figure out what it is you would like this humble cook to prepare." They broke contact, and he stepped into the hall to call Barney, while Robin surveyed the contents of the fridge. Richard Arranged to meet Barney at the bar at around 8, then returned inside where he ended up making what he had scrounged for breakfast again, but the company made up for it.<p>

An hour later, Robin was fast asleep under the influence of medication, and Richard lay on the couch, starring at the ceiling, examining his luck, friends and everything else he looked over when sleep eluded him. At Seven he headed down to the bar for a night cap and a little people watching until Barney arrived, where just ended up as a standard wingman. By 9:30 he was back on the couch, staring at the ceiling, but with enough liquor in him to allow sleep to slowly overtake him. He was still asleep when Robin left for work at 2:30, and she left him a note telling him when she'd be back, and to lock the door if he left before then.

4:00m came to find Robin greeting her small audience alone, no co anchor having been brought in yet to replace Don. But, for the first time in over a week, the smile she greeted the day with was genuine, rather than forced, and Richard, watching on her television before he himself left for work, liked the thought that he might have had something to do with her smile.

**End 3**


	4. Dating Again

**How I met Your Mother: Growing Out**

_**I do not own the Rights to How I Met Your Mother, and long odds on me owning 'em to anything else you may recognize.**_

**Lord, I know not what it is that I do here, but I humbly ask you forgive me for this transgression.**

**If I eventually come up with a decent title, I will change it if possible. Sorry.**

**#4: Dating again.**

It had been a little over a month and a half since Robin had showed up at his door, freshly dumped, crying, and asking if she could move back in. She had been depressed for the first couple days, mostly laying around, staying shut up in her room, and not even slipping down to the bar. With Lily and Marshal in full baby making mode, and Barney being… well Barney, that had left Ted holding the sack to be there for her. If his own rocky post-relationship with her had shown him anything, it was that she would talk about it when she was ready, and he personally should not push it. His conference for school had him gone for a few days at the end of the first week of her break up, but he had told her she could call him at any time, for anything. He was a little worried when he received not one call from her, but Barney had assured him the she was doing alright. He was still concerned, but he doubted Barney would lie about it. When he arrived home the following Tuesday, it what he found surprised him greatly. The apartment was cleaned up, the fridge was full, and Robin was bright eyed and cheerful. He submitted her to a light barrage of questions, but she seemed genuinely fine. When this continued for another 4 weeks, he brought it up with the rest of the group in the bar one night.

"Hey, you guys notice anything strange about Robin?" Barney snorted and took a drink of his beer.

"You mean besides the whole "Canada" thing." He added air quotes because he felt that they should be there.

"No, it's not that, I can't quite put my finger on what it is, but something is up."

"Did you try asking her?" Lily suggested the obvious, just to get it out of the way.

"Yeah, but she hasn't said anything solid. I think whatever it was must have happened while I was away, because she was mopey when I left, but all smiles and sunshine when I got back. I mean, she even cleaned the apartment before I got back."

"Oh, wow, now I can see why you're worried." Marshal said, through a handful of cheese fries. "Mabye she started doing drugs." The sarcasm was hard to distinguish from around the food. Barney snapped his phone shut after he received a message, and looked smugly around the table.

"I'll tell you what's up, she has had a boyfriend for the last month." He statted it the way it should be, like they were idiots for not having realized it.

"What's his name, Morphine?" Marshal added, and was promptly ignored.

"No, that can't be it, we'd have heard something about it, and besides, I have never her seen her that… smugly contented when she's dating."

"Or maybe, she hasn't said anything because she doesn't want you guys to embarrass or judge her?" The was the expected general cry of outrage and denials from everyone that usually comes one such an accusation is made. Ted managed to get a word in first when it the arguing quieted.

"That's ridiculous, Barney, the only one she'd need to worry about embarrassing her is you." Barney scoffed

"*scoff* Yeah, right, now who's ridiculous. I am awesome to the point that I cannot trigger embarrassment, merely feeling of inferiority in those around me. Besides," He took a drink of out of his glass to stretch the moment, "I'm the one that introduced them. Guy's a good friend of mine." It was Lily's turn to scoff now.

"Please, Barney, if you're going to lie, at least put a little effort behind it. Three of the only four people who can tolerate you, much less refer to you as a friend, are sitting at this table, waiting for you to find some poor, lonely, possibly retarded girl to take you away from us for a while."

"If you don't believe me, ask her yourself."

"Ask me what?" Robin said, grabbing the spot Barney vacated, allowing her a booth seat while he grabbed a chair.

"Barney says he has a friend outside the four of use, and we don't buy it." Ted said, sounding almost bored.

"Not that," Barney said, throwing his arm in front of him as he sat in the newly acquired chair.

"Oh, do you have a boyfriend, Robin?" He asked it casually, already knowing the answer was no.

"Yeah, he's a friend of Barney's. Barney introduced us." The was a moment of silence as this information circulated.

"Wait," Ted said, looking like he took a punch to the head, "you're saying Barney knows other people who can stand him?" Robin loomed pleased and replied excitedly.

"Yeah, it's weird, huh?"

"Oh, the hell with you guys!" Barney finished drink and then stalked off, giving the eye to a lady or two on he way out the door.

"So when did you meet him?" Lily asked.

"The Saturday that Ted was gone."

"And when did you start dating?"

"The Sunday Ted was gone." Lily looked a mixture of impressed and mollifying.

"Hmmm, that's quite a turnaround time."

"Yeah, it was kind of fast, but we've actually been taking it kind of slow."

"So, what you waited until Tuesday to start having sex?" Ted chimed in, looking pleased with himself.

"No," Robin replied, no in her evasive assent, but calm truthfulness, "we haven't had sex yet." She was slightly offended by the surprised looks from everyone but Lily, because she knew Lily was as fond of it as she was. Yes, she did have kind of a spotty record when it came to that, but she di not consider herself to be a slut, like what Marshal and Ted were implying. "We talked about it, and decided, we'd just let our relationship flow however it wanted. We had just both been dumped hard, and he is new to New York and not really completely settled yet, so were just letting things happen, were not trying to force anything."

It was true, they had talked about a lot of things, and one of the benefits to having hashed over most of their bad relationships from the past _before_ they started dating was that they had an idea of what they had done wrong. One of the things they did do however, was to actually air things out when they were fresh, rather than let them grow sour. Everything with him just seemed so easy, usually difficult conversations came and were handled with no apparent hurt feelings or bruised egos. There was one instance in particular, where something came up that brought out her dislike of children. He seemed hurt when he asked, "you don't plan on having kids?" She didn't know what it was that made her realize that this was a hot button topic, or that he felt the exact opposite from what she did, or even why she chose to be completely honest about it. She could understand even less how that turned into an hour long conversation on the subject, where he did not try to convince her that she was wrong, try to change her mind, or even try to validate his own claims. And when it tapered out, he just…let it drop and they continued what they were talking about before it had come up.

"So what's his name, what's he like? Lily asked eagerly, leaning forward expectantly.

"Ok, his name is Richard Stone. He's about thirty five or six, has a business job, and lives on the other side of the Park. He cooks, watches my show, and actually listens to me talk." She continued to describe him while Marshal and Ted shared odd looks. Finally, Ted had to interrupt.

"Wait a minute, Robin, I have to stop you there. I am not buying it."

"Buying what?" She asked, slightly irritated at being derailed, and not understanding what Ted was talking about.

"That you have a boyfriend. You have never behaved like this with any other boyfriend, Barney doesn't have other friends, and you just pretty much just described the perfect woman. I think your either dating a chick, or you're making this up."

"Hey, I can enjoy having a boyfriend, he's not a woman, and he does exist. I'll bring him out here someday to meet you." She looked at her watch, and got up out of the booth. "Ok, later guys." She walked to the door, caught a cab, and went to work.

(…)

The cell phone danced it's way slowly toward the edge of the glossy black desktop, nothing between it and the carpet other than a large, flat screen monitor, keyboard, and mouse. It was halted from its journey by a hand.

"Hello, Stone speaking."

"Hey, Richard, what are you doing?"

"Nothing, really, I'm just at work."

"Cool, care if I swing bye?"

"Not at all. Hey, if you want to grab something, I'll cover it and we can make it lunch?"

"What do you want?"

"Doesn't matter, anything's fine.

"Okay, see you in about half an hour."

(…)

Robin arrived at the place where Richard worked, was greeted by the lady at the front desk, allowed to proceed to the shop floor, and walked the trail between machines toward Richards office in the back that overlooked the floor. Richard swerved in front of her, surprising them both.

"Oh, Hi, Robin, go ahead and head up to the office, I have to go yell at someone." His eyebrow jumped twice, adding accent to his grin as he ducked around one of the lathes and took off. She sighed, and continued onward with a grin of her own. She mounted the stairs, and pulled open the heavy wooden door, the noise of his music clashing with the roar of the machine shop. She walked in, sinking slightly in the thick carpet, and as the door closed, the sounds of the shop vanished, and the music flowed unopposed. She placed the plastic bag of food on the desk, and moving past the two blue, thickly padded guest chairs and grabbed the leather rolling chair behind it. It sagged slightly and seemed to mold to her.

She had been into his office a couple of times, but never alone, and she had never really looked around. The office was bare, the right wall being a full floor to ceiling tinted window that looked out over the rows machines making the variety of parts to be assembled into things. Many of the shapes looked maddeningly familiar, but she could not place what anything was. The current track ended, and a mournful piano tune drifted through the speakers and snagged her attention. By the time the second verse she was smiling, and by the end of the third, tears rolled lightly down her cheeks, and even when it picked up and got heavy, it still didn't break the beautiful sadness of the previous words. The song faded and was replaced by something else a high voiced man singing about desperation. She was still wiping her eyes when the door opened and Richard entered.

"Oh, shit, whatever I did, I am so sorry." He said, looking worried and sitting in a guest chair and leaning forward on the desk.

"Oh, no *sniff*, it wasn't you, it was just that song." She said, taking a Kleenex he handed her and dabbing away the last of the active moisture.

"This one? This is called "Sex Life," and is about minding your own damn business." She gave him a look that made him feel stupid, as it was clearly intended to.

"No, the one that was on right before you came in." He made an comprehension dawning sound, leaned over and snatched a remote out of the top drawer, and pressed a button. The solemn piano chords rolled forth again.

"Ah," he said, nodding after only two notes were struck, "this is "Terrible Things," by Mayday Parade, the ending is brutal." She chuckled slightly, and begun unpacking the food and he turned the volume down to a dull muttering.

"Yeah, no kidding."

"So, to what do I owe this pleasure/ making everyone who knows me jealous by knowing you?"

"I was wondering," she began, pausing to eat some food. She had, in the month they had been dating, gotten used to a lot of candid honesty that she would normally never have with a close friend, much less a boyfriend. She really felt as if she could broach almost any subject and not worry about offending him. "I was wondering why you haven't made any serious sexual advances on me."

This was a moment Richard had not been looking forward to. Robin had not exactly been subtle in her own advances, and it had been getting harder of late to deter them inconspicuously.

"What put you on this train of thought?" He asked, starting his own food and trying to stall wile he thought.

"Well," she said, swallowing, "I was talking with my friends last night, and for one, they don't believe you exist, and that if you do, you're the perfect woman."

"I've been called worse." He said it with a straight face, no change in demeanor, a simple statement.

"And they then, kind of overtly, implied I was a little bit of a slut." The implication had not been made, but she felt that she was slightly guilty, so assumed the implication was made.

"Ridiculous. You couldn't be a slut. A slut is a person who believes the only way they, feeling broken, can fix themselves is through sex, but feel guilty because of the terrible rules society has implanted in them, corrupt the solution into a hollow shell of pain.

"There is no shame in enjoy sex. Liking sex doesn't make you a slut, using it to hurt yourself or others does." It sounded kind of weird, but it did make her feel better.

"Well, then, do you want to…?" She made a motion with eyebrows that made her intent clear. Richard sighed, and looked down at his lap.

"I… Can't." He sounded so sad about it Robin didn't know how to react, but merely nodded when he asked if he could try and explain. "Ok, remember how I said I had a really bad breakup right before I came to New York? Well, It was _really_ bad. I had never more fully invested myself in someone else than I had to this girl. I gave my whole heart to her, and was to blind by my own feelings to pick up on anything. One day, one of my friends tells me the straight story, and I ignore it, but it still stuck around the back of my head and made me notice things I hadn't before.

"This chick wasn't just right for me, she was perfect for me, in every single way. Turns out, that was because she had studied me, found out what I liked, and became that. I called her on it, and it was the worst fight I have ever had. She never loved me, and if half the stuff she screamed at me while I was throwing her stuff out was true, she never even liked me, just what I had to offer outside myself.

"Worst hit I have ever taken. I got hit in the heart so hard… It's actually made me temporarily physically impotent. Robin blinked a few times, trying to grasp what he was playing at. She began to have a glimmering.

"Wait… so what you are saying is…" she lifted her hand to point. He nodded.

"It don't work no more." She burst out laughing, while mortified at herself. For some reason, the fact that he was laughing to made it weirder. "I know, it's crazy, the kind of thing you can't even imagine ever happening." She calmed down a little later, and again wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Oh, god," she said, choking back giggles, "I am so sorry," He waved it off.

"Don't be, I have always believed that laughter is a way of sharing pain, thinning it out and making it bearable. I mean, I can still get aroused, it's just that nothing happens outside. " He motioned needlessly. "It's like, the first night me met, when we at your apartment, and you came out with just a shirt on…"

"Yeah…" she said, feeling embarrassment creeping some color into her cheeks.

"You had to notice me staring at you legs, almost the whole time." She looked at him, trying to recall, but had nothing.

"No, I didn't notice you even look directly at me the entire evening."

"Oh, well, then let me just state it for the record, you have _amazing_ legs." He emphasized the word into six syllables, making Robin smile with pleasure. "I was so turned on I thought my eyes were going to pop out of my head from the pressure, but there wasn't even a quiver downstairs.

"Anyway, I went and saw a therapist when I realized something was up, and he told me that this was the case, and that I would eventually get over it."

"So let me get this straight," Robin said after another forkful, "if I were to say, take my top of and shake a bit, you wouldn't feel anything?"

"No, I would be mentally aroused, physically neutral, and extremely grateful." She thought about it for a minute, chewing on her fork.

"That sucks." He shrugged

"It wasn't too bad, because before I met you, I had no reason to care." She smiled again, wondering how he could evoke so many different emotions so often and not just be exhausted all of the time. She was tired, and had been brought to tears twice, through laughter and crying, in the ten minutes she'd been in the office. After a minute of silence, she chose to change the subject.

"So… I like your chair." She said, rubbing the armrests and enjoy the smooth leather feel.

"Yeah?" He asked around a mouthful of food. "You want it?"

"What, no, I could never afford one, plus, I have no reason to use it in the apartment."

"So take it to work, it's got to be better then what you have there, if only for the built in butt warmer." Something about the string of words didn't make sense to her, and she cocked a inquisitive eyebrow, which caused him to again lean across the desk, and press a button recessed under an armrest. Almost immediately, a soft, insistent warmth flooded the seat of her pants.

"Oooo, that is nice. Hey, want to meet my friends?" He thought it over for a second.

"Um, sure, if that's what you want. When?" He seemed slightly defensive, although Robin didn't notice.

"How bout tonight?" He looked slightly put out.

"Ok, this brings me to the bit of something that I needed to talk to you about." Robin's insides squirmed, not knowing what the worst could be, but expecting it.

"I can't. Not for at least a week and a half, I'm going to be out of state on business."

"How out of state?" She asked, slightly relieved but still pessimistic.

"Oh, not to bad, just western Europe. I am not just a good manager, I also happen to be a fairly decent sales guy, and so I'm going to go and see if we can't work up a bit of a thing with our friendly neighborhood Spaniards." Her bad feeling was gone, but he obviously still had something else to say, so she waited. "My flight leaves at 4 in the morning tomorrow." Robin thought this over, and puzzled out a rough plan in her head.

"Well, then, I guess I will have to go home and change, you'll go pack your bags, pick me up for dinner, and then tonight well have to see if I can add "Healer" to my resume. Be there at 4 O'clock sharp."

"Yea Ma'am!" He gave a mock salute as Robin got up, walked around the desk, gave him a quick, dry peck on the lips, and left, leaving him thinking about how lucky he was to have found this girl, and how good of an idea it was to keep certain things out of general knowledge.

She may have been disappointed that she did not get to add "Healer" to her credentials, but 3 days later, she was pleased, and surprised, to find a chair matching Richards own in her dressing room, and that left a genuine smile on her face when she read the news, for the duration of his trip.


	5. Admissions

**How I met Your Mother: Growing Out**

_**I do not own the Rights to How I Met Your Mother, and long odds on me owning 'em to anything else you may recognize.**_

**Lord, I know not what it is that I do here, but I humbly ask you forgive me for this transgression.**

**If I eventually come up with a decent title, I will change it if possible. Sorry.**

**#5: Cures and Admissions**

Robin arrived at the bar at two in the morning, a broad and extremely satisfied smile on her face. She sat at the table, and waited for Marshal to finish whatever he was talking about, and for them to include her. Finally, after about 6 more minutes, Barney wanted the subjected changed.

"Hey, Robin, why are you so happy this eve… morning." She looked him square in the eyes.

"Richard told me to tell you, "Condition 7." She had no idea what that meant, but obviously he did.

"Ah, well, Ladies, Ted, I am off." He left without further explanation, leaving them all slightly confused, before Lily picked up the conversation.

"What are you looking so contented about?"

"Well, we did it, last night and then again this morning. We had sex." Instead of the exited look she expected them to have, they had the "oh, God, she's back on this again," look.

"Can you even have sex with someone who doesn't actually exist?" Marshal asked in an exasperated tone.

"If the internet is to be believed, it is technically possible." Ted added, not expressing how he knew this. Lily shared the look, but was more willing to humor her then the boys.

"Yeah, so, what finally made it happen?" Robin was glad at least somebody was on her side, even if it was just to humor her.

"Ok, well, he got back to town last two nights ago, and took me out to a Hockey game where the Canucks were playing. So, I am all into the game, and get up, yelling an all of that, and I slip into my Canadian accent, first time I had even done so in front of him. After the game he asked me about it, and I pulled it out again, and next thing I know… wam-bo." Ted sighed heavily.

"Robin… if you want us to even be able to pretend that this guy exists, saying he gets turned on by a Canadian accent is just not helping, it is actually detrimental to your goal."

"Well actually," a male voice said from behind him said, " there's also just something about a pretty woman in a large jersey threatening to beat someone's teeth out and then force feed them back to him that I find appealing as well."

A man well into his thirties, trim, tall, and dressed in a nice black and gray suit walked up behind the chair Barney had left a few minutes prior, but did not sit. Robin made a smooth movement, and he sat. A few seconds later, the waitress walked up and placed a fresh beer in front of everyone at the table except Robin. "I went ahead and got the next round, hope you guys don't mind."

"That depends," Marshal said, letting his voice go low to show the gravity of the question "on if you did so to try and sway our opinions, or if you did so because we looked like cool people who needed more beer. This new man appeared to think about it for a few seconds while robin gave Marshal a look that can best be described as venomous.

"Honestly," he said shrugging, "it's a little bit of both." Marshal nodded in satisfaction.

"That is a very good answer. Now, what is your stance, on Ewoks?"

"Damn it Marshal, you promised!" Robins look was somewhere between fury and disappointment.

"No, I promised that I would not ask this to your imaginary boyfriend, and this man, is not imaginary. Let him answer." Richard again dove deep into his own thoughts.

"I think," he answered slowly, structuring the sentence before committing it, "that, from a logistics standpoint, if not explicitly shown in the film, that the vast number and guerrilla potential of the natives provided enough background noise, if nothing else, to distract many of the Empires forces from the real objectives so that the key players could do the real damage. Their involvement, sopping up casualties to allow the rebels to hit prime targets, was the only way they could have won the engagement."

"Ok, I like him." Marshal said, shaking the man's hand across the table. "Marshal Erikson, and this is my wife, Lily." He indicated the small redhead seated next to him.

"Ma'am," Richard said, tipping an imaginary hat toward her. Ted chimed in, not wanting to quiz him at all, but offering his hand.

"And I'm Ted Mosby." Richard started to shake the proffered hand, but stopped suddenly, his eyes slanting in acquisition.

"Ted Mosby? I've heard that name before, where?" The man's hand seemed to chill in his grasp as it took on the properties of a vice. Ted mind raced while he hoped Robin hadn't gone into too much detail about their relationship, and realized that it probably would all sound bad. He almost didn't hear Lily's comment.

"Have you ever seen "The Wedding Bride?"" She asked him, causing the imposing stare to shift.

"Yes…"

"Well, Ted Mosby is Jed Mosley. They even said it as Ted Mosby near the end."

"Oh, Okay," He released the grip, and looked almost sheepish. "Sorry about that, I k new it sounded familiar, I just assumed it was bad, sorry."

"It's ok," Ted Said, swallowing hard and playing it off, "and, the movie didn't actually tell the real story, because it was really just Stella changing her mind and leaving me at the altar for Tony."

"Wait, you're the actual guy the movie was based on! Damn, dude, I'm sorry, that sucks, and the bastard rubs your nose in it like _that!_"

"Yeah, and it really sucks because Ted had just gone to get Stella's daughter, and, trying to be the nice guy, invites him to the wedding, although it was mostly just because Stella didn't want Ex's at the wedding, and Ted wanted Robin to come." Marshal added, to avoid the hour long story Ted would have gone into.

"Why wouldn't she want Robin to…" was as far as Richard got before it clicked into place, and a solitary eyebrow jumped almost to his hairline. Lily, sensing an opportunity to test this man in her own way, filled in the already self answered question.

"Because Robin and Ted had dated for over a year, broke up, lived together, had _more _sex, then she moved out for a while, and now they live together again." Ted looked horrified, Robin looked embarrassed, and Lily looked satisfied. Finally she would get some entertainment, and it would show Robin if she had made a good choice, or a bad choice and needed to move on again.

"So he was the one who…" Richard aimed the question at Robin, his tone fairly neutral, and eyebrow still riding high.

"Blue French horn." She answered quickly, before returning an angry gaze to Lily who continued to smile as if she didn't know what she had just done. Richard's face took on a cloudy cast as he sought to arrange his thoughts. "Hey," Robin tried to get his attention, and his eyes refocused on hers, "I have to leave for work, come and get me a cab."

"Yeah, we should probably get going too." Marshal added, starting to get up, Ted and Lily following his lead.

"Hey, Ted, stick around a minute, I'd like to talk to you, ok?" Richard asked, his tone and face showing nothing.

"Umm… Sure." He sat back down while everyone else walked out the door, and 4 minutes and many worried thoughts later, Richard reentered the bar, and ordered something. He then approached the table and placed a shot glass of amber liquid in front of him, and himself as he sat down opposite him.

"A toast," He picked up his own shot, and extended it while he leaned back and put his arm across the booth, "may out only vice be that we love too much." Ted, surprised, raised his own glass, clicked it, and then pounded down what was undoubtedly whiskey, but seemed more akin to molten glass. "Ah, smooth. So, getting strait to the matter at hand, you want to fill me in, or leave it to my imagination?" Ted chose to give him a rough overview of his relationship with Robin, and not knowing what she herself would have covered, went over basically all of it. At the end, Richard sat, one hand resting on his chin, his brow furrowed in thought. "…ok." He said slowly. Much of what Ted had recounted he was aware of, but not that it was Ted that the events had transpired with. "Ok, we're good."

"Really?" Ted seemed slightly surprised.

"Yeah, from what you've both said, and what she hasn't said, I can see the score. I'm good. Want to tell me the story of you and Stella, so I don't judge you more based on the movie?"

"That doesn't sound like a bad idea, but I think I might need another shot."

"Done." The shots arrived, were shot, and the stories continued, back and forth, until an hour later, both felt comfortable in each other's company. "Ok, now, I have to believe you have a pretty good gauge on Robins… character, I guess you could call it, and so I need to ask you a question, and I need this to be in the strictest of confidante."

"If you ask her to marry you, she'll dump your ass faster than you would imagine." Ted said, taking a punctuating drink of his beer. Richard looked aghast at the implication that he would be thinking that.

"What? After 6 months? No, even I have more respect for marriage than that. No, let say, that something happened, tomorrow, and that this event left me with no money at all. How much do you think she care, would that kill the relationship?" Ted thought about it for a full minute.

"While it might change your relationship, I doubt it would bother her enough to end it."

"Ok, cool, although, there is almost no risk of that happening. Ok, on the other end, what if, my personal worth, was say, somewhere between 50 and 75 million? What are the chances she would be into me because of the money she could get out of me? High, medium high, super high?"

"More like super low. I remember, back around the time of the first New Years after we'd met, that she was dating a billionaire, and she didn't seem to care about his money in the least."

"Damn, really, a billionaire?"

"Yeah, or 100 millionaire, somewhere along that line."

"Ok, but so I most likely wouldn't have to worry? This is really important, because I have been really screwed on this before. I would continue to pretend not to have money for the remainder of my life rather than chance getting hurt like that again."

"No, Robin juts isn't that kind of girl. She's… Canadian." They both laughed at that.

"Okay, one final question. How does she feel, about guns?" He wore an anxious face, like the answer to this question was more important the previous.

"She has at least two that I know of, and receives the magazine _Guns and Ammo_ through the mail." The relief flooded over his face. "Why?"

"Well, I don't like this getting around, but I own and run a manufacturer of firearms, Lancehead Armories." He brought his arm up to his face and read the hands of his watch. "Alright then, it's almost 4, want to call it a night?" With the majority of his worries stripped away, he simply looked worn down.

"Well, I'm not all that tired, and not half as drunk as I would like to… Hey, have you ever played the Robin Scherbatsky Drinking Game?" Richard rubbed his eyes, looking slightly interested.

"No, I don't think so." He left the end hanging so that Ted was prompted to continue.

"Ok, well, you watch her show during an interview, and every time she says "but, um," you take a shot. Want to head up to the apartment and give it a try?"

"Oh, god, how many shot's have we already done? I don't think I could stay conscious through a whole interview."

"Two so far, and we'll do it with beer or something, and you can crash if it's a long interview.

"Alright, let me call and tell Casey I won't be working today."

(…)

Robin arrived home in a cross mood. Richard was not answering his phone, and that angered her, although she did not look at her motivation too hard. She liked that they had a deep, meaningful relationship that behaved as if it were shallow and effortless. If she had realized that this anxiety was the first marker of being seriously invested, she would have started to panic. She was thusly irked when she arrived at the apartment to find Ted and Richard passed out on the couch, a six pack of beer laying dead on table. She put her stuff down, changed into her lying around clothes, and flopped down on the end of the couch. The shock didn't wake Richard. She threw her legs over his lap, again with no response. She poked him in the ribs; still nothing. This led her to try jabbing other, more sensitive areas with up to three fingers, all to no apparent effect. Finally she pulled herself up, and landed a terrific backhand along the side of his head. She was rather satisfied with the sound that came about, and more satisfied when Richard's eyes fluttered and he became partially aware that the world still existed. He blinked and looked around while he waited for his brain to be able to read the images that his eyes were receiving.

"Wha…Oh, morning, Robin, when did you get here?" She glared at him, wondering if this was actual lucidity, or just a temporary burst of it.

"About 20 minutes ago, and at least I know why you weren't answering your phone."

"Yeah, I stopped answering it when I pass out, I always ended up really regretting whatever I had said later." He yawned, then looked pained. "Hey, why does my face hurt?

"Probably because you passed out on my couch with my roommate. So, incidentally, why are you passed out on my couch with my roommate?" She scooted further down, her legs, bare in her lying around shorts topped with a plain white t-shirt, lay across his lap at her thighs. He placed his hand on her shin and rubbed it gently.

"Have I told you how amazing your legs are?"

"No, but thank you, and don't change the subject."

"Well, we had and illuminating conversation to the scope of your relationship, and then he invited me up for a drink, and to watch your show." He gave her a slurred, graceless grin, and she put the pieces together.

"Oh, you assholes, you played the drinking game, didn't you?" She gave him the death look, and the grin didn't slip.

"Would it help if I hadn't heard of it until Ted told me about it?" She shook her head, she wasn't angry, not really, but decided she would play this card and see where it took her.

"What if me and Ted are friends and short of the two of you hooking up there will be no petty jealous behavior out of me?" She put a hand to her chin, and thought about it.

"Ok, I'll take it."

"Good, alright, now, as I said, we had quite a talk last night, and he convinced me that, well, _invest _a little more into, us. He kept his left hand planted above her ankle, and gestured with the right as he spoke. The fact that he seemed nervous always seemed to denote that something important was coming, and she adopted an appropriate look.

"This is casual dating?" She asked, and it came out with a hint of bitter, although she did not here it.

"I… would… er…" This was another marker of just how serious he was, because he only got flustered easily on the really important subjects. That, or shut up completely and refused to make even the slightest comment, but she had only run into that once, and realized she shouldn't push that button.

"Sorry, it was a joke. Aren't we already pretty firmly… Dating?" She wasn't sure on the terminology, but he got the message she was trying to convey.

"I like to think so, but… there are… certain… _things_ that I have kept…" He circled his right hand while he searched for the right word, "discreet during the whole of our relationship, in order to make an… impression, rather than let these facts make an impression first." Her eyes narrowed as she did not like the sound of this.

"What things?" He tone made it clear that she was not happy with this surprise.

"Well, ok," he sighed deeply, to deep to pull out now, "I am not actually manager of the shop at the place where I work." She continued to glare, and he took it as a go ahead to continue.

"I actually own, not just this plant, but the entirety of the parent company that is spread out between offices in 4 other states. And because of this, I have quite a bit of money personally at my disposal." He finished, and she continued to stare, until she realized he was done.

"That's it?" She sounded contrite. 'You got worked up over that? That's nothing, it doesn't matter to me in the least." He went quiet for a minute, looking straight ahead.

"Robin, have you ever had money, _real_ money, not good money, but the kind of wealth that exists only as numbers in a computer, and not physical currency?"

"Personally, no, but you wouldn't be the first man with money I have dated."

"It's different on this side of it. When you are the one with wealth, everyone wants to be your friend, date, associate, all of that crap, but it is very rare to find sincerity, and when you do, you don't trust it, because of the other 99% of people who are trying to leech. After I got really hurt over this, I just quit letting it come up, and changed the subject if it ever did. So, I hope you can see that it's not that I didn't trust you, but that after last time, I don't trust anyone with that." She sat and thought about what he said.

"So, then the one that knocked you limp was only after your money."

"More or less. I think she got an ego boost or something too."

"Your right," she said, almost to herself, "I don't understand the pressures that come with having wealth, but I do understand being wary of getting hurt." She turned a cautious smile on him. "So, I take it that, by you telling me this, that you trust my intentions?"

"Well, I think it's more that I find it hard to focus with these on my lap," he punched her calf lightly, and she dug him with her heel in response, "but yeah, Ted gave you the green light, and I agreed."

"What did Ted have to do with it, you just met!"

"True," he nodded, accepting her point easily, "but he earned it, because before I put the question to him, I had him give me an account of you two's relationship, and not only did it match all the major points you outlined, but he even mentioned a few rather embarrassing things that you did not attribute to him."

"Like what?" She was trying to hold on to the indignity she felt.

"Like, that he was the guy who said that he loved you on the first date, and that he cheated on one girlfriend with you, and that he once chased you down while he was drunk to beg you to take him back." Robin looked at him, wincing in her mind at the fact that Ted would reveal such intimate embarrassments to a near stranger, and folded.

"Ok, so we do have a big history." She sighed, but not in shame.

"Yep. So, we are good, and remember how you been pestering me with why you've never been to my home?"

"Pestering? I asked twice."

"Potato, potato." He pronounced it Poe-Tay-Toe both times. "While I would not call it opulent, it, and the building it's in, (which, indecently, I also own,) would have been a dead giveaway that I was fairly wealthy. But, as now that that…oh, wait, you are aware of what it is that my company does, right?

"I know it's manufacturing of some sort." She wondered where he was going with this sudden change in topic.

"That is… part of it. The company's name is _Lancehead Armories_, and we design, fabricate, and distribute Firearms, munitions, and personal defense equipment." He removed his right hand from her inner thigh, (to her slight chagrin) and burrowed it into his rear pocket. A few seconds of digging later, he handed her a business card that was black with a wire image of a snake hissing, its fangs dripping venom, from within a circle printed in gold on the front. The words "Lancehead Armories" was printed in large silver letters underneath, and in smaller, like colored letters on the back were Richard's name, and the words "owner/operator." She placed the card on the table behind her, and Richard returned his hand to the spot on her thigh.

"So, as I was saying, with that out of the way, I would like to take you to my place."

"Right now?" She cocked a playful eyebrow at him.

"Oh, god no, the place is a wreak, that's what single life'll do to you. No, I was thinking, if you didn't have any plans for the 4th, I would throw a Barbecue party, and you and your friends could come and hang out."

"Why the 4th?" She looked up and at his face. On it was such derision and shock that she realized she must have missed something very important now, but it changed before she could say anything.

"Oh, sorry," he said like he was catching his breath after a holding it, "I forgot you are Canadian. The 4th of July, Independence Day.

"Oh, Oh okay, yeah, okay. Sound good, but you really need over a week to clean up the place.

"To a degree to which I would be willing to let you see it, yes." He yawned again. "Awwww, man. What time is it?"

"Almost 1."

"Damn, why is it after passing out, all you really feel like doing is going back to sleep?"

"You can go crash on my bed if you'd like." She offered, now that the situation was explained, and plans had been made, she felt normal again.

"I don't want to put you out. Have you eaten, or would you want to go and get some lunch?"

"We _could_ grab some food… Or," she put her finger up, "or, we could retire to the bedroom, and then go get some food." She let a bit of bland innocence creep into her voice as she put the question out. He smiled, moved his hand to the back of her head, leaned over and kissed her. When he pulled back, he was smiling.

"Have I ever told you that it is so very nice to have a girlfriend with a healthy view of sex?" He did not wait for her to speak, but rather moved the hand that had dropped to her shoulder to her mid back, and pushed forward as he slid his leg under her rear before lifting her bodily, and carrying, much to her surprise/delight to the bedroom for their dalliance. Ted, still in a drunken coma, continued to droll onto the armrest of the couch.

**End 5**


	6. The Time Ted Dated A Rockstar

**How I met Your Mother: Growing Out**

_**I do not own the Rights to How I Met Your Mother, and long odds on me owning 'em to anything else you may recognize.**_

**Lord, I know not what it is that I do here, but I humbly ask you forgive me for this transgression.**

**If I eventually come up with a decent title, I will change it if possible. Sorry.**

**#6: The time Ted dated A Rockstar**

The Fourth of July was upon her, and Robin had only seen Richard once in that time period, as work and other factors had divided their time. It had been three days prior, when he arrived at McClarrens about 15 prior to her having to leave for work.

(…)

Richard was exhausted, and it was his own damn fault. The production schedule he had set for the release of his newest product, a flag colored 1911 pistol meant that he was spending nights at the factory to make the deadline for shipping on the 2nd. This was actually the first time he had left the grounds in 4 days, and this was only so that he could make sure that the people who would need them. He pulled up a chair to the opposite side of the table from Ted, who was also chair bound, with Lily and Marshal on one side of the booth, and Barney and Robin sharing the other. He didn't plan to stay long, and placed the chair so that the back was facing the table, and his arms were resting on the back. He placed his chin on his arms while he waited for Lily to finish her conversation.

"Hey, wake up!" Three minutes later Barney was tapping his forehead to roused him from the nap he didn't know he was engaged in.

"Huh, Oh, Morning, how long was I out?" He asked, eyes open, but head not lifting.

"Just a few minutes, what's up?" Barney asked, his arm across the back of the booth, and glass of scotch in his hand.

"Oh, yeah, the party on the 4th, you're all coming, right? Good, Ted, Barney, Marshal, you guys want to go with me on the morning of it to get the booze?" They all agreed.

"Can we help set up or something?" Lily offered, not wanting to be left out.

"Uh, sure, if you and Robin want to show up early, I'll tell Vinn to let you up at 11:00." He checked his watch after lifting his head. "I'll call the rest of you on the morning and pick you up. Here's the address, and I have to get back to work now." He threw a paper on the table with his address scribbled on it, and the stood replacing the chair.

"Wait, I'll share the cab." Robin said gathering up her purse and saying her goodbyes. She didn't say anything until the cab was underway.

"So, you've been at work for the last 4 days straight."

"5, but that's nothing. Casey hasn't left the office in over a week. This is an important event to all of us, but to her more than the rest of us, I guess."

"Why, what's the project?"

"Okay," he sighed, and opened the left side of his suit coat, and removed a firearm form a holster under his armpit. He inverted it, holding it by the slide and barrel, offering her the butt. She didn't hesitate and took the firearm, asking the driver to click on the dome light.

The gun was a model 1911, finely detailed with red and white stripes rippling across the slide, not simply painted, but engraved in the metal. Blue patches and engraved white stars flowed down the handle, and were mirrored on the grips. The _Lancehead_ emblem was carved into the grip, just behind the magazine release, in a swirl of red, white, and blue instead of the customary gold and silver. It was beautiful.

"We have been making these for release on the 4th."

"It's… it's beautiful. But, why is it so important that you haven't had time for sleep or me for 5 days?"

"Big promo. One of the Things I made a policy very early on, was to make a big push on the hiring of veterans returning from war, injured or no. Well, that's how I acquired Casey, so to speak. She got hit with an IED in the Middle East, if she shows up to the party, ask her to show you her scars, she's damn proud of them, for good reason. Each of these guns will sell for at least two thousand dollars, and half of whatever is paid will be donated to veterans' hospitals that we (Casey) approve of. This is way, instead of a usual collectors run of say, 1000 pieces, we are pumping out a solid 20,000 total units. Plus, the adds that have been printed state that if all 20,000 are claimed, nationwide, on the 4th, I will personally donate an additional 2 million to the cause."

He finished looking out the window at the lamp-lit street. Robin simply stared at the pistol in her hand, not knowing what to say. Not being an American by birth, she did not have the strong feelings for Armed Forces either pro or con, but she could understand the sentiment behind it. The more she thought about it, the more she liked it. The money wasn't going to the war itself this way, but merely helping the people who, for whatever reason, were protecting her, and everyone else in the country.

"You can have it, if you want, I'll buy you one." He was looking at her, his eyes gleaming with pride in the dark fatigued hollows. She looked back down at the gun, the symbol, and placed it in her lap. She then grabbed both sides of his head, pulled it to hers and kissed him, long and hard, and did not pull away until she needed more air. "So, I take it I should get the paperwork ready?" He smiled, not knowing the thoughts churning in her head.

"It not necessary, but, if you don't mind, care if I pitch your ad to my producers?"

"Do what you want, but either way, I'm going to draw up the papers." The cab pulled up to the street entrance to Richards building. He reached into her lap, retrieved the firearm, and tucked it back into his holster. He then leaned over, and gave her a quick, dry peck, and another smile. "See you at eleven on Saturday, then?"

"Yeah, we'll be there, get some sleep."

"Yes ma'am!" He said, leaning back in the cab, before shutting the door and pounding on the roof.

(…)

She had not seen him since then, but she trusted he would have said something if plans had changed. She had found, however, the papers for the transfer of a firearm had been in her apartment when she got off work. She had it, filled out an in her purse, but she wouldn't mention it until he brought it up. She and Lily got out of their cab at the building matching the address provided. The building was shaped like a diamond with one of the long points chopped of half way to the center. It was 15 stories tall, white stone and shiny black windows. They entered the self opening black glass doors into a lavish, black marble lobby, veins of gold glittering in the marble's swirls. There were 4 black leather benches, and a large, fortress like desk, with a very aware, tall blonde man eyeing them without veiling his dismissive attitude toward them.

"Can I help you two… Females?" His condescension was clear, and females was the least offensive of the terms he had at his disposal.

"Yes," Robin answered, matching his disapproval with chill, "Scherbatsky and Aldrin. Mr. Stone is expecting us." The man's face did not change, but his tone did.

"Very good, Ma'am, my I see some Identification?" They handed him their ID's and he checked them.

"Very good, when you enter the elevator, press the button for floor marked 14, and I will buzz you onto the proper floor." The said nothing, walked to the waiting door, and entered the elevator. 30 seconds later it dinged, and they emerged into a richly carpeted hallway where soft, light string music flowed from hidden speakers. There was only one door other than the one for the Elevator, so Robin knocked. The was no response, so she tried the knob, and the brown, highly polished door glided open on oiled hinges. Their mouth's dropped open as they saw what was inside.

It made Robin question Richards understanding of the word opulent as she walked through it.

"Holy hell, would you look at this place!" Lily called as she wandered through the rooms. Music flowed loudly, but not oppressively from ceiling speakers in every room. Each room was done in floor and walls of either black or white, with opposite colored furniture. Plants stood in corners where nothing else was, and glass cases mounted on the walls held firearms of various shapes and sizes. Robin walked though a fully loaded kitchen, a large bedroom, and into a living area when she heard, over the music, the sound of water running." She turned and found Lily looking through the kitchen.

"I think he's in the shower." She said, and then walked to the heavily shaded glass wall. She saw a small panel on the glass, and pressed one of the 3 buttons on it, and the glass's tint faded to reveal a yard on the roof. Lily, catching the change in light, walked to where Robin stood gaping. A lawn stretched across the roof, bordered and bisected by sidewalks. Off to the left was a full sized swing pool, complete with an eight person hot tub, on the right were several lawn chairs and a grill. Without warning, the volume of the music dipped, and the sound of running water was gone. Then a sound that made the hair on the back of Robin's neck rise came waft in, over the music. Someone was singing, and the voice was unmistakably female.

"The Devil grins from ear to ear, as he see the hand he's dealt us. Point's at your flaming hair, and now playing hide seek. I won't rest easy here lest our trails gone cold behind, till in the john mirror you stare at self grown old and weak. We keep driving, into the night, it's a late goodbye, such a layte goodbye…"

"Maybe he has a house keeper." Lily whispered, as they moved back toward the door, but her thought was quickly dispelled as they heard a door open, and saw the person singing along to the music. "Or, maybe not."

She was about 5 foot 10 in her bare feet, and looked extremely fit. She was wearing a pair of baggy green shorts, and a white tank top that was skin tight, and was cut to leave the flat of her stomach showing. She had large, but proportionate breasts, with long, silky blue-black hair that shimmered as she moved. She had a aristocratic nose perfectly centered, and high, balanced cheekbones. Large, expressive eyes, a deep, shadow kissed forest green, glimmered from underneath a creaseless brow. He right arm, from shoulder to wrist was a tangled mass of green vines, thorns standing out with hints of red. At the shoulder, inner elbow, and under wrist, purple roses completed the almost photo-realistic tattoo that was her right arm. On her stomach, sides an back, just above the waist, a viper lay coiled twice around her body, it's head resting just below her smooth naval. It was all gold and dappled brown, and the menace in it's eyes almost made you forget it was a tattoo.

In short, she was stunningly beautiful.

Suddenly, she caught sight of Robin and Lily, and she turned, her left hand holding a remote, and the right moving to her spine behind her back.

"Hello. Who are you?" Her voice was low and smoky, with an undercurrent of a British accent. Her voice and the tilt of her head conveyed curiosity rather than suspicion. Robin, who's blood pressure was quickly mounting, was unable to speak. Lily took up the talking for her.

"Aldrin and Scherbatsky." She said, and the girls face softened instantly.

"Oh, hello, nice to meet you." Her hand dropped away from her back, and the concealed knife she kept there. "you're here to help prep the party, then? Ok, Richard has gone out to pick up some more supplies, but he should be back in just a few minutes. Robin, who was pissed, turned, and opened the door, moving into the hallway. Lily picked up the awkward thread.

"I…guess we will wait in the hall." The girl nodded, worked the remote as she walked off, and the music's volume swelled again. As Lily emerged, he elevator pinged, and Richard, carrying several bags, emerged. Lily was interested in how this confrontation was to play out. Richard was smooth, but she did not see how he could talk his way out of this one, especially as Robin was actually beginning to turn red from what she could only imagine was rage.

"Oh, hello ladies, sorry I am late, I didn't think the pickup would take so long." He was beaming, which meant he didn't know they had been inside yet. Robin managed to speak through clenched teeth.

"Would you mind telling me why there is a half naked woman in strolling around in there?" She pointed at the closed door, her hand shaking slightly. His face fell, but not with the fear of having been discovered, but more along the lines of a spoiled surprise.

"You've already been inside? Damn." He sighed, put down the bags, and then reached past the girls and pushed open the door.

"Oi, Vicky, get your ass out here." He yelled over the music. It died down and the girl walked out into the hall. He let the door close behind her, then angled himself next to her. "Vic, this is Lily Aldrin, and Robin Scherbatsky, my Girlfriend." He indicated each in turn, and then turned to Robin. "Ladies, this bit of baggage is Victoria Caverns… my daughter. Robin's jaw dropped for the second time that day. "Vic, will you fill her in on the story, the guys are waiting for me to pick them up so we can get the liquor. This okay with you, Robin? I know you don't really like kids, but I figure she hasn't been a child for three cup sizes now."

"Good lord, you are such a bleeding asshole!" Vitoria blushed slightly, slugging him squarely in the shoulder. "If she wishes me to tell her what happened I will, but it is all on her.

"Whatever, but take this in and get cracking, I'm already late. IS it okay with you, Robin?" She started to speak, but had to clear her throat.

"Yeah, it should be fine, just a bit of a shock, that's all." Victoria's eyes narrowed sharply, showing that she was even pretty when she was mad.

"What does she mean it was a shock, Richard? Did you neglect to mention me to her? You know I shall make you pay for this."

"I love you too, dear, now be a lamb and stash this junk, I'm off." He turned and moved quickly back to the elevator, and Victoria leaned down and hefted the bags of food. Robin opened the door for her, and followed her into the kitchen area, where she began to remove fruits, vegetables and packages of meat from the plastic bags.

"Let me just start by saying, I am terribly sorry for the impression I must have given you when you first arrived. I cannot imagine what you must have thought. I had no idea who you were, as you were, if you do not mind me saying so, pretty enough to match the description he gave me, but he only ever told me your name as "Robin," not… the name your friend here gave me. I had also assumed that he would have mentioned me at least once based on how much he told me about you. So again, I am sorry, and I hope this won't leave to bad a first impression for you."

"No, it's ok, I should not have jumped to conclusions. Now that I have had a few minutes to calm down, I can kind of understand his hesitance to mention that he had a child. The first night we met, we ended up getting drunk while hashing out our past failed relationships, and I am fairly certain I hammered the "I don't want kids" nail pretty hard."

"Oh my goodness, he put you through that on the first date, and you stuck with him?"

"Oh, that wasn't our first date, we were just hanging around. Our first date was the following night."

"Damn, it almost frightens me how with some of this awkward stuff, you never really grow out it. So, since he never mentioned me, you must be curious, right? Well, to start it off, I am not his biological daughter.

"My biological parents had me when they were 16 and still in school. Richard was their best friend, through my mother, because he had been in love with her since they were in elementary school. So, once I was born, he learned to keep his mouth shut, and became my uncle Richard. It was amazing how well he fit in the role of helping to raise a baby girl, and I have it on good authority that I liked to bite. He was my best friend until I was ten. He was never too busy to play with me, always understood "little girl serious" issues and their gravity.

"Then, one afternoon, I get home from school, and Richard is there. He tells me there was an accident, and asks if I wanted him to stay there with me that night, or if I wanted to pack some things and stay at his place. Eventually I ended up moving in with him, and he raised me for following 13 years." She had been washing of the veggies and fruits in the sink, and pulled down two cutting boards, placing them on the counter. She then parceled out the produce, and gave brief instructions on what to do.

"I learned to shoot, cook, and that I wanted to get a career in music. Let's see, during high school, Richard was working his first big money job, and he let me follow whatever I wanted, so by the time I graduated, I could play the Violin, Piano, and Guitar. I was also the front woman of a home grown band, and we now have two albums and are signed a label." She opened a drawer and removed a knife, took a second to judge which of women were more stable, and handed it, hilt first to lily, as Robin was an odd shade of white. She had Robin start on something not involving a knife or breakable object. She reached back in the drawer, and pulled a second knife out, flipped it in between her fingers, and flung it. It thunked quivering into a corkboard across the room. She shrugged and pulled out the correct knife. "I may have also picked out some other skills as well."

(…)

The door opened and Richard held it so that Ted, Marshal and Barney could walk in. Barney, carrying the least, walked straight into the kitchen, clearly having been inside before. Richard listens and counted of three girls laughing and talking, and was glad he had pushed Vic to explain the events leading up to his fatherhood. After all, orating was what she did for a living, after all, and her accent helped, in his opinion. He Left Ted and Marshal gaping at the entry. He placed the beer in the kitchen, and as soon as it was out of his hands, Robin flowed up against him, hugging him tightly, her head on his shoulder.

"What was that for?" He asked, when she pulled away and didn't leave a knife in his back. She had looked pissed when he left.

"Nothing. It just felt necessary."

"Yes, and the is all well and good, but we have 18 minutes until doors open, and half an hour until we'll be done prepping. You," Vicky pointed at Robin, "start pulling the stuff out of the fridge so we can slap it together, And you," she indicated her father, "quit leaving things wherever the hell you feel like when I am away!" She pointed to the small knife sticking in the corkboard. "Start moving the furniture and setting up tables. 8 minutes until I break out the whip. MOVE!"

(…)

"I already said no. I would _greatly_ appreciate if we could close this subject now." Richard was saying to Barney, grilling a group of burger patties in the summer sun.

"Dude, c'mon, you owe me, I let you, so you owe me."

"Yes, you did," he replied, his eyes flat with cold decision, "but that was for your Ex girlfriend. This is my daughter, and she is off limits. You were cool for the past couple months with her, why this flair up now, I thought you were better than attempting extortion." Barney muttered into his beer, and while his eyes remained cold, he smiled a knowing smile. "It's cause she has taken a liking Ted, isn't it?" He followed Barney's sight line to where Victoria and Ted seemed to be conversing excitedly, her hand on his arm. It was shaping up along the line he had planned.

"Why does he get a shot with your incredibly hot daughter, and not you best bro?"

"Because you have a very broken use for sex that I will not willingly allow her to be subjected to. Ted won't let her get hurt." He put it blunt, then changed tracts. "Further more, I am insulted that you would even think that I would leave you hanging. Have I ever left you high and dry?" He lifted questioning eyebrows at Barney over the rim of his drink. Barney perked up, curiosity beating out his sullenness. "But I need you to do me a solid, if you wish me to bestow this wonderful thing upon you." The smile Richard gave him said this was indeed a good thing he would get.

"What is it?"

"You have to promise before I will reveal it, or no dice."

"Okay, fine, what do I need to do?"

"Don't do anything that will make it so you can't be seen by these people again. They are old business friends from California. Nothing to outrages, ok, because they can beat it, I guarantee you that." Now he was excited.  
>"What do I get."<p>

"Not what you get, what you do. That is to say, yourself. If this was a pickup attempt, you are Barney Stinson, talented businessman, and I could not even give a brief list of your accomplishments, because it would sound like I was lying, but will verify anything you need verified. Have fun." Richard turned back to the gril, mind already to different things, leaving Barney wondering what just happened. He was about to ask when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He wheeled around to find to slender, large breasted brunette smiling at him.

"Excuse me, but you wouldn't happen to be Barney Stinson, would you?" His cham switched itself on automatically.

"Why, yes, yes it is."

"Oh, you're cuter than Richard said you would be. I'm Leanne," the left hand girl purred, "and this is my sister Sandra." Barney turned around and moved close to Richard.

"Dude," he whispered in awe, "twins!"

"Yep," he whispered back, "have fun, I have a key to the empty suite downstairs if you don't want to take the trip to yours later."

"Thank you!" he whispered back, before returning his attention to the ladies in front, knowing it was almost already asealed deal. He threaded an arm on each girls shoulder. "Ladies, let me get you something to drink." Richard smiled as he removed the grilled meat, and added another batch before returning to watching Robin in the pool. She looked really good in the clear water, and she seemed to be enjoying her self, which made her all the more beautiful. The roof and house were packed with close to 100 people, the invitees and their gust milling around and doing whatever they pleased. It was a good show.

(…)

The single long point of the buildings shape on the roof was designated as the smoking area, so as not to disturb those who did not enjoy the habit. The farthest back along it length, right at the grasses edge had a ring of eight or nine chairs arrayed in a circle, and had become the defacto area for those who wanted to rest over a cigar. Barney, one of his dates, Ted, Victoria, Richard and a man known as Peters were sitting, hosting a drop-in drop-out roundtable on anything that they felt required a good argument amongst clouds of blue smoke.

"Personally, I have always preferred smaller breasts to the larger ones. Richard said with a plume of smoke. "I mean, it makes it easier to focus on the other lovely things that a woman has to present during your first pass, so you get a better picture of what you're looking at. I mean, as long as they are there, we are going to be fine, but when it's not the distinguishing feature, I think it nicer."

"What do you mean with that? Marshal asked, puffing on his own cigar. This far into party they were all drunk enough that clarification was the longest part of any of the topics.

"Take me for example," Victoria chimed in, her voice not at all slurred, "what's the first thing you notice about me at a glance?" She held up her right arm, and gestured at it with the left. "That's right, my tattoos. And believe me, just with that impression made, people don't even take away anything else other than boobs for days after. It's always "Hey, did you see that chick with the tattoo," or "Oh yeah, your that chick with the tattoos and big boobs." They will not get anything else out of it, not even the color of my hair.."

"It's true," Leanne added, "but since I don't even have the tattoos, so I', the blonde with the huge rack.

"No," Barney chided her, "your _one_ of the blondes with the huge rack." He patted her leg, and she actually seemed pleased with the attentions.

"Exactly. Ok, Leanne, when you first saw me, what did you think?"

"Who's the chick with the big boobs with Mr. Stone."

"Right, ok, then look over at Robin for one second," she pointed to her, because she knew Leanne had no idea who she was talking to, "and what do you remember?" She looked over for a second, and then turned back

"Brunette with the pretty smile."

"Bingo. Small boobs allowed her to see something other than said boobs, and she's in a freaking bikini to boot."

"Don't forget her legs, they are spectacular." Richard chipped in, otherwise content to let the conversation play out. Robin looked over, caught his eye, smiled and walked over, taking a seat next to him. She whispered to Richard after snatching his cigar, and taking a satisfying puff.

"What are we on now?"

"Blunt or classy?" She listened to Peters talk for few seconds, and decided she needed a quick refresher.

"Blunt."

"We are discussing the merits of the size of boobs. We have reached the decision that as far as stronger first impressions of a woman, that having smaller boobs allows a more varied acquisition of data on said impression." He thought about the wording, nodded with satisfaction, and took a sip of his drink after swirling the ice.

"Hmmm," she looked down at her own assets, "and had you reached this decision prior to me coming over here."

"Yes, and this was reached without my involvement in the conversation…"

"Hey, if you two are just going to titter amongst your selves, go and do it somewhere else, your wreaking the flow." Victoria said, glaring at them. When they just stared back, she made a shoo gesture with both hands. "Go on, bugger off." And They buggered.

(…)

Night fell, and the New York skyline glittered like a bag of spilled jewels on black velvet. Fireworks exploded out over the river, dancing lights illuminating the rooftops. The party was mostly over by now, many of the guests had already gone home. Four large bed like lounging chairs were standing at the edge grass facing toward the fireworks. Lily and Marshal we asleep on one, with the next being empty, as Barney had taken his dates home about a half and hour earlier, presumably for some form of debauchery. The third contained Ted and Victoria, who were, by all appearances, quite busy. Richard shared the last with Robin, listening to the soft music and watching the light show with her head on his shoulder. The just rested, enjoying the warm closeness, the dark, and the softly wafting music. The beeping of Richards watch interrupted the calm. He swore in surprise as he fumbled to turn the alarm off, then more swearing when he realized he was disturbing Robin. She yawned, having dozed slightly.

"What time is it?" She asked, wondering what the alarm could be set for.

"8:45. Oh, balls, sorry, but I have to get up." She held on, keeping him pinned when he tried to get up.

"Why, let's just go back to sleep."

Can't, Casey's coming and I need to turn on the tub. Hey, ever had cocktails in a hot tub at night with fireworks? It's kind of awesome, if I do say so myself. And I do." He pushed her up enough so that he could slide out from under her, and he landed on his ass on the pavement. "Oh, by the way, are you staying here tonight?" She gave him a look that spoke through the gloom as queried why he would even ask such a stupid question. "Ok, good." He gave her a genuine smile, then turned his head to where Ted was being subjected to whatever Victoria felt like doing that night. Ah, you be young and pretty enough to screw with men's minds, and smart enough to do it well. "Hey, Ted, are you staying here tonight?" He waited while Victoria told him that he was.

"Yeah, if you don't mind."

"Not at all, what about those two?"

"Probably not. They'd want me to wake them up so they could go."

"Cool, do it, and then come help me get some stuff together, we're going to do some drinking in the hot tub when Casey gets here."

"Casey's coming? Don't sweat it, I'll handle the drinks." Vicky said, her accent thickening unexpectedly.

"No." Richard said forcefully, ending any arguments that Victoria might have wanted to voice. "Ted can do it." He turned and walked across roof. He started fiddling with something near the tub, and after a minute or two, the jets started and the water began to warm. Ted woke Lily and Marshal, then walked with them into the house as after they said their goodbyes, and walked them out the door before returning to the kitchen to help Richard.

Outside, Victoria rose off of her own lounging chair, poked around until she found what was left of her cigar from earlier, lit it, and sat down on the foot of Robin's, puffing while thinking.

"Hmm, I've never had the opportunity to do this before, this could be interesting." She said to herself.

"What?" Robin asked, think she was being address. Victoria turned, folded her legs beneath her as she faced Robin.

"Robin, are you sleeping with my father?"

"…WHAT!" She was caught off guard by the nature of the question and the way she posed it with such a straight face.

"Right now, he's in there giving Ted the boyfriend talk. It's only fair that I get to give it to you. So, are you? … Fine, but I am going to take your silence as a yes."

"Ok, yes, I am sleeping with him." Robin seemed a little embarrassed.

"Ok, ok. And are you having sex with him? No, I'm only joking, I know what you meant, just having fun with you. Ok, hmm, what else can I ask. Oh, I know, I'll go the clichéd route. Do you love him?" Robin practically choked at this. "Goodness woman, what the hell, have you got no sense of humor? I even warned you that one was coming." She pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head in exasperation before muttering to herself again. "And these things always looked so fun on the television."

"And what are you doing with Ted?"

"In some countries, you could call it being a good host. But we're just having a little fun, nothing serious."

"Really? And he knows this? And he was okay with that? Sorry, I don't buy it. This is a man who, for the entire time I have know him wants nothing more than to get married and start a family."

"Yeah, he mentioned that, butt he agreed to try it, and if he seems to be getting to involved, I'm out. It's dosent hurt that I am on the road no less than 8 months out of the year, occasionally outside of the country. Makes it a little easier to avoid committing to a relationship. Anyway, come on, let's get in the water, it should be about perfect now." She handed Robin her cigar, then pulled the tank top over her head before slipping off her shorts, revealing a surprisingly conservative black bikini. She tossed the close over her shoulder, reclaimed her cigar, and clamped it in the corner of her mouth. She then grabbed Robin's wrist and pulled her along to the waters edge. She did allow Robin to remove the large shirt she had put on when it ha started to get dark, which put her back in a skimpier (and not just in the chest) bikini before she too climbed into the bubbling pool.

"Still, Ted has always had trouble separating what his heart wants from what his brain will allow." Vic stretched her arms out along the rim of the pool, and gazed fixedly at her.

"Robin, it'll be fine. Why does this bother you so much?" She didn't answer, and Victoria was tempted to needle her, but she thought better of it, knowing this was a very severe nerve.

"Look, if he gets cloying, I'll call it off, and he'll never see me again, just "poof" and I'm gone. Tonight, we're just going to enjoy each other's company, and if he takes it well enough, maybe we'll do it again next time I'm town. Seriously," she looked straight into her eyes to convey her sincerity, "I know how decent a guy Ted really is, and I will not let him get hurt. Okay?" Robin nodded stiffly.

"Okay, thank you. Now, I have to give you a little bit of a warning about Casey. She can be kind of a… bitch to… well… everyone. So please don't take it personally when she is less then friendly to you." Robin assented, and Victoria sighed with relief. "Sorry I needled you with the questions earlier, I didn't know you'd take it so badly."

"It's okay, I may have overreacted slightly." She conceded, the warm, softly bubbling water was a wonder on her nerves, and made everything seem less urgent and stressful.

"Well, still, since I feel that I was rude, and so I will let you grill me on whatever you'd like." She put her head back and waited while Robin selected a question, choosing not to ask about why she had seemed so uptight about Ted.

"Okay, where did your accent come from?"

"Both my mom and dad were second generation Englishers, and so I grew up with the accent and missed out on most of the idioms, although I did pick up a few watching the BBC. It already had a firm hold on my tongue by the time Richard took over, and like they say, it's almost impossible to shake of your earliest canalization. Why do you cover yours up?"

"Well, I don't want to sound like a whiner, but it seems like most of these people really don't seem to like Canadians."

"Oh, they don't like anyone. I think it has a lot to do with the New Worlds Christian roots, but they hate _everyone_, even each other. But I see what you mean, it would hardly be easy to get and stay in the new racket if your accent was confusing people. Go ahead, next question."

"Ok, do I have any serious quirks to worry about discovering in Richard? I haven't really picked up on much, but after 7 months I find out he has a daughter, and it worries me that there might be other things."

"Hmm, let's see. You know about the guns? Okay, then you know about the money and me. Nope, I don't think there's any other major suprises, but then I grew up with him, so I just might not think of some things as quirks. Oh, there is one thing. He's very odd about names. For the first ten years of my life, no matter what, he never once refered to me as anything other than Victoria, or occasionally, "hey, you." Then when I moved in with him, it was a array of different names. Vic, Vicky, Tori, and occasionally Squat, although I'm damned if I know why for that last one. I asked him why he suddenly started that, but he never gave me a straight answer…" She paused, looking over Robin and at the house.

"Casey!" She shouted, rising from the water before halting, apparently signaled to wait. Robin turned and looked at the approaching figure. Only her face was visible, nestled in a thick white robe. But if her face was any indication, her body would be magnificent.

Her face was tall, smooth, and as beautiful as a marble sculpture. A regal brow stood above two sharp green eyes that missed nothing, shielded by a pair of glasses. A small nose that was ilted slightly upwards at the tip, atop full, stern lips. A plume of rich black hair hung over her shoulder and to the center of her stomach, dancing as she walked. She turned into a silhouette as she left the area of illumination provided buy the house. She glided to the pool, shed the roob, and climbed in, still shrouded in murk as the tub's lights were out, and Robin's vision needed to readjust. Vicky moved through the water and embraced the older woman.

"I was worried you weren't going to show up tonight. How are you.

"Tired." Her voice was crisp and clear, with no extra or wasted anything.

"I should say so, Father said you haven't left the office in over a week. It's amazing what you guys are doing. Anyway, this is Robin, local news anchor and Richard's girlfriend."

"Hmm." She made the noise that showed she was clearly not impressed.

"Hello, Ma'am." Robin held out her hand, and the other woman hesitated before taking it, and gave her a look that was vaguely hostile. The handshake was limp and cold. Robin decided that she was going to make a first impression for once. She withdrew her hand and dropped her smile, and looked the other woman in the eye. "Miss Chambers, I was born and raised in Canada, and only moved down her to New York six or seven years ago. I applied for and received dual citizenship, and while I identify myself as a Canadian, not an American. But, New York is my home, and I understand that you not only fought for the security of my home, but were injured in doing so. I just want to say thank you." She was a bit impressed with herself. These feelings had been churning about inside of her for the better part of two days, but she didn't think there was any coherent thoughts in there.

Casey was silent for a moment, and then grunted again, her esteem of this woman rising. She did not trust her, however. She had worked at _Lancehead_ for two years before she had managed to catch Richard's attention, and had worked under him personally for four more. She had not liked him, but was trying to secure a stable position for herself as high up as possible. In that time she had seen the lines of women all after one thing or another, and the damned idiot was so… not naïve, but…trusting, that he would let these women hurt him. She did not care on an emotional level, they worked well together as work partners, and she considered him a friend, but they would never share a romantic anything. They were not compatible. Her loyalty started with keeping away any who could threaten her position and ability to support her own pursuits, and later from the respect he had earned while she worked under him.

She ran her eyes over the woman again, noting the features she could in the dark.

"Victoria, turn on the pool lights." The girl jumped to do what she said, and Casey stood silently, and was suddenly lit from below as the underwater lights flicked on. Robin covered her mouth in horror as she looked on the body of the veteran, much as she expected she would.

"Oh… my god…" She gasped. The entire left side of Casey's body was a mat of overlapping, knotted white scar tissue from her armpit to her waistline, longer radials climbing over her shoulder and bicep. The scars almost matched the white of her bikini. Victoria got quietly back into the water, looking in admiration at the carpet of mauled flesh that was a symbol of the sacrifice that brave men and women were out there protecting them at all times, and often paying dearly for it. Casey held out her hand again, and Robin stood shakily, still staring at her mangled side. She tentatively grasped the proffered hand.

"First Sergeant Catherine Elizabeth Chambers." This time the handshake was firm, and Robin knew it was a good sign, and tied to answer in kind.

"Robin Charles Scherbatsky Jr." She didn't like listing her full name, but if anyone deserved it, she felt this woman did. Her perfect eyebrow rose a fraction of an inch, and Victoria giggled softly to herself and they broke contact.

"Good, I see you've met… that you've both met." Richard came up behind Robin carrying a tray loaded with drink fixings, and set it down on the cement. He had started to say Casey, but chopped it off and went to the neutral both, symbolically showing that the women stood in equal importance to him, even if they were unaware of the hidden meaning. Casey noticed the start of the "C" and knew that this woman was quite important to him. She would have to keep a very close eye on the situation. Richard passed around drinks to everyone before sliding into the water next to Robin, across from where Ted had Joined Victoria. :So, Casey, what were the numbers?"

"All 20 were sold."

"Excellent. You're taking the week off." The conversation carried on with no actual emotion present with any of the words. "I don't want to hear argument. Things have calmed down, and it will take a while for the revenue to trickle in. It was a rough week, and I want you to relax. This will be charged like paid vacation, but not deducted from your hours." She wanted to tell him no, but instead simply nodded. "Good, I left the key to the floor below us with your stuff, stay there as long as you like." Casey decided the conversation was over, and turn to Victoria, who had wormed onto Ted's lap.

"Victoria, I hear you released your newest record. What did you go with." Robin, finding herself not whishing to be out done by the promiscuous teen, threaded her had in Richards, and scooted continually closer until he final took the hint and placed his arm around her shoulders.

"Self titled, so it's just "Victory In Defeat." And the cover is the Rodin sculpture, "Caryatid who had fallen under the weight of her own stone" because that is where I pulled the name from. We did it up just like the _Stranger in a Strange Land_ book cover, same green hue and everything. Even if no one gets the link, or that the sculpture says the same thing as out title, I'm still proud of it."

The conversations moved all over the map for the following 2 hours, until around midnight, when Vicky left, pulling Ted, to shower for bed, and Casey retired to the floor below to do the same. Richard detached himself from Robin and slid along the underwater bench until he was facing her, and let out a deep, tension filled sigh.

"Sorry today was so crazy. There shouldn't be too many big surprises left, as by meeting those two, you've met all of my family worth mentioning."

"Wait, so you and Casey are related?"

"What? No. No more than I am to Victoria. But that's just the thing, I'nnit?" He paused finishing his glass of, well, he wasn't even sure what he was drinking now. "It's one of the things I saw in California a lot. It was like on _Arrested Development_, where you have one really good guy, and the entire rest of the family were complete pieces of crap, and treated him like crap. But, because they were blood, he sat a took it until the series ended. Other than that show being f**king awesome, it never made any sense to me. I mean seriously, Casey mean a hell of a lot more to me than some useless drain on society. Why should blood factor in to where my loyalties lie? That they do share relation means I will give them a chance. One. If they screw it up, then it's on them." Robin just sat there, staring at him in surprise. He suddenly looked really embarrassed.

"Sorry, I must have had quite a bit more to drink than I should have." Robin was coasting on a slight buzz too, and thus was able to take it with a grain of salt.

"Sure, blame the alcohol." She said, with a half smile. Richard reached out and placed his right hand on her left shoulder.

"Thank you," he said very solemnly, "for being cooler than I have any right to ask. I know I bring a lot of baggage to the table, and just… Thank you for letting me share it with you. Now, I'm going to go and take a shower real quick before bed, shall I leave the water running for you?" She arched her eyebrow.

"God, I am really glad you were … uh… that you… umm… dating me?"

"Me too, as long as you keep your mouth shut." She gave a playful smile, and excepted the hand Richard offered to lift her from the tub.

**End Six**


End file.
